In The Shadow of Your Heart
by Maestus
Summary: A story told through drabbles. How does the Doctor really feel about Amy? Cause you know what they say: If you love them, let them go... Some dark themes, now AU. Complete!
1. You Left Me In The Dark

**Heya fellow Whovians, yet another venture from me into the realm of Doctor Who. Dunno if it's any good but hey! (:**

**Set shortly after Amy's Choice. The Doctor's hurting but is he going to admit it?**

**Disclaimer: Russel T Davies foiled my plot to steal Doctor Who AGAIN! (*grumbles quietly*) I then asked if I could have just the Doctor and he merely glared at me. (:**

**Hope you like and please review!**

**XXX Raven**

The Doctor didn't realise he was shaking until Amy and Rory had wandered off to bed, both murmuring good nights between their yawns, hands clasped tightly together. He muttered something in reply, busy, or least pretending to be busy, with the TARDIS controls. As the sound of their voices faded, the tremor in his limbs grew worse until, with a curse, he abandoned all pretense and collapsed into a chair, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Several hours and he was still cold. He didn't want to admit the reason why.

In the back of his mind, he could hear the Dream Lord's cruel taunts, haunting him even when their speaker was long gone. _She chose Rory and she'll always choose him; you're nothing compared to him. You're just a novelty and you know what happens to novelties, don't you? Any day now, they're going to realise that they don't need you and then they'll leave and you'll be alone again! After all, who could love a cold-hearted creature such as yourself? Who could love a coward, a man who would let his friends sacrfice themselves rather than give himself up?_

"Shut up." The Doctor whispered to himself. "It's not true; none of it is. I'm her raggedy doctor; of course she likes me!"

_Or does she? _sneered the voice. _What's to say she's not just pretending? What's to say she's not just scared that you would just abandon her and Rory on some unknown planet if she dared to say anything?_

"I wouldn't do that!" he protested, sliding off the chair and onto the floor where he hugged his knees close. "I wouldn't!"

_You would. You're the Oncoming Storm and we all know what storms do. They wreck. They burn nations, shatter lives, wipe out civilisations. They _destroy! _And you're no different!_

"No, no, no!" the Doctor cried anguishedly. "You're not real; you're just a figment of my imagination! Go away!" He buried his head in his hands but still that voice _talked _and _talked _and it wouldn't _shut up! _"Please stop." he whimpered. "Please just _stop!" _

He didn't realise how much noise he was making or that he was crying until there was the sound of running footsteps and Amy and Rory appeared, panting in exhaustion.

"Doctor? What's going on?" Amy shouted between breaths, scanning the console room desperately until she caught glimpse of him, eyes widening. He supposed he must be in some state; curled up on the floor, clothes a mess and face tear stained. He heard her take a step forward then hesitate. "Doctor?" she asked gently. "Doctor, what's wrong?"

He gave no answer; merely sniveled quietly and coiled into a tighter ball, head pressed against the reassuringly warm metal of the TARDIS floor. At least _she _wouldn't leave him.

"Doctor." Suddenly Amy was beside him, reaching out to gently pull him towards her, arms wrapping around his torso as she softly carded her fingers through his dark locks. "Is this...is this about earlier? About the Dream Lord?" When he gave no answer, she took a deep breath and soldiered on, guessing mainly about what was happening. "Cause you know, whatever he's telling you, it's untrue. I'm not going to leave, whatever he says. Rory and I, you're stuck with us and you're gonna have to get used to it cause we're not going anywhere. Now come on. Let's see that smile."

She tenderly cradled his face, turning his head to face her and kissing him softly on the forehead. Slowly, tentatively, he returned her hug, feeling her grin in relieve.

"There. Better now?" she smiled and he nodded, somehow no longer bothered by this display of weakness. That was Amy all over; she could wipe away tears with a single smile and soothe away troubles with a solitary kiss. He felt a small smile of his own slide into place.

"Yeah." he answered. "Yeah, much better."

He made to pull away - there was only so long after all that his pride could take a backseat - but Amy held him still, continuing to stroke his cheek lightly. She stared into his eyes.

"Next time, say something. You don't always have to be strong; everyone's allowed to have feelings. Don't lock yourself up in your cage."

"Thank you, Amy." he whispered, leaning back into her hold.

"Anytime, Doctor." she answered. "Anytime."


	2. Always In This Twilight

**Hey all, back again with another drabble! In The Shadow of Your Heart was originally meant to be only one drabble but I've decided to extend it into a whole series, exploring the relationship and hidden feelings between Amy and her raggedy doctor, seeing as I have so many ideas. (:**

**So, this drabble is set between Flesh and Stone and The Vampires of Venice.**

**Summary: After Amy kissed him, the Doctor is having difficulty sorting out his emotions. But he has a plan...**

**Enjoy and please review!**

**Also, if you have any requests for scenes between the Doctor and Amy, please tell me! The muse loves fresh ideas! (:**

**XXX Raven**

Other than the quiet background hum, the TARDIS was quiet, almost too quiet for the Doctor's liking. He didn't have a clue where Amy was; she had murmured something about going to find the pool and he hadn't heard anything since. Truth be told he wasn't actually that bothered. The quiet meant less distraction and less distraction meant more oppurtunity to think. And if there was one thing he needed to do, it was think. His normally level head was a muddle, emotions turned wrong ways up and inside out, sensibilities thrown out the window. _Amy _had _kissed _him. _Amy _had put her lips to his face and _kissed _him.

Had he liked it, he wondered. Or was that feeling fear instead of joy, was the soaring in his chest that erupted at the mere thought of that kiss terror at where this could be going? He didn't know. Slowly he raised a shaking hand to his cheek, rubbing the skin where he had last felt her touch, eyes thoughtful. Using his eidetic memory, he recalled that moment, replaying it blow by blow until he had isolated that sensation and inspected it, much like a scientist would study a particularly fascinating specimen. By the time he was finished, he was sure.

He loved Amy Pond. But not in the way she loved him.

He had compared that kiss to others, noting the way she held herself, the nature of that kiss, her expression afterwards. And he had reached the conclusion that it was merely a kiss of gratitude, nothing more, nothing less. Amy didn't love him that way; she loved him as a friend and that was all. Besides, she was engaged. She was _taken..._She was not his.

The Doctor sighed. It was wrong to feel that way about his companions, he told himself, wrong to want to become romantically involved when all that was going to end up happening was he was going to have to leave them or they were going to have to leave him. He was a time lord, unaging, unchanging, while she was a mortal and would grow old and die, preferably with one of her own kind, not him, a lonely old alien drifting through time in a big blue box.

But deep inside his heart, he knew. He knew there was more to that kiss than he had convinced himself was true, he knew there was more to Amy's actions than he wanted to admit. But he wasn't going to acknowledge that, oh no! For once in his life, he wasn't going to be selfish and he was going to keep himself at a distance and he was going to keep this relationship entirely platonic. He wasn't going to run the risk of another Rose.

Suddenly, inspiration struck and he knew what he had to do. It was so simple, he was surprised he hadn't thought of it earlier. Amy was _engaged _so take her to her _fiance _and bring _him _with them for a small trip and she would realise what she was missing and forget all romantic feelings (and kissing) towards him! The plan was genius! Completely flawless! He was grinning as he programmed the required co-ordinates into TARDIS console but that grin slowly faded as he considered where they were heading and who they were going to see.

The Doctor sighed again. If only curing his own feelings was so easy.


	3. A Falling Star Fell From Your Heart

**Heya all, thanks for the reviews. They're greatly appreciated! This drabble is set towards the end of The Wedding of River Song. I quite enjoyed that episode though at first I found it rather confusing to untangle the plot. (probably due to the fact that I missed a fair bit of dialogue at the start due to my family's insistence on talking RIGHT THROUGH IT!) (:**

**Summary: The Doctor's thoughts as he weds River and prepares to die.**

**Please review and if you have any requests, please say!**

**XXX Raven**

As he begs and pleads with River for her to undo all this alternate reality she has woven, he can see the pain in Amy's face, that horrible hopelessness as she realises that nothing can be done to change his mind, as she realised that he had consigned himself to death. Looking into River's eyes as he married her, as he leaned forward to whisper to her, he couldn't help but wonder if he was cheating other, if she was always going to be second best and treated as such. _If you can't have the mother then you can at least have the daughter_. But no, he loves River, he truly does. He loves everything about her, from her unwavering determination that borders on sheer stubborness to the way she cares so much about those around her. He loves how she's never given up on him, despite his flaws. However, it's not the same way he loves Amy.

He loves Amy the same way he loves the TARDIS; unconsciously, unrequitedly. All he needs is for her to be there, for her to simply be by his side, and that is enough. She doesn't even have to share his feelings.

But in that moment as the life faded from his body, as Amy screamed and sobbed before him, lying there on the banks of Lake Silencio, he saw that she cared for him just as deeply, that he was still her raggedy doctor and nothing would ever change that, not River nor Rory nor his apparant death.

He still had hope.


	4. The Stars Have All Been Blown Out

**Yo! A drabble a day keeps the need for the Doctor at bay! I'm gonna see if I can stick to this. (probably not but oh well!) **

**This is set at the end of The Big Bang during Amy's wedding.**

**Please review! (:**

**XXX Raven**

When he was brought back by Amy, the Doctor felt a fleeting moment of pure ecstatic joy. She must love him, he figured, because she remembered him. Therefore, there was still a hope...wasn't there?

Of course not. There were no words to describe the sensations that submerged him in their tsunami wave as he realised just what event he had arrived at and his soaring heart was struck down by lightning of despair. But he forced on a smile and bounced over to the newly married couple, offering his congratulations despite the despondance threatening to overwhelm him with its thunder-dark clouds, before throwing himself enthusiasticly into the festivities, promising himself that this time he would bury these unreciprocated feelings in the mind box where they belonged, along with Rose and Martha and Donna and everyone else he had loved but had been forced to let go. He had never stood a chance, not against Rory, a _normal_ perfectly _ordinary _man who could offer Amy everything he could not; safety, family, a stable relationship... It had been stupid of him to assume otherwise.

900 years old and still so naive.


	5. No Dawn, No Day

**Howdey all! I'm sticking to my drabble a day resolution, just as promised! (: This one is set after the events of Cold Blood and is more based around the Doctor's thoughts on Rory than Amy and how Rory will always be there to stop him, even when he's gone.**

**Thank you for all you're wonderful reviews! Please keep them coming!**

**Enjoy!**

**XXX Raven**

The Doctor knows it is wrong but he can't help how he feels. First, Rory was there, always there, the one thing standing between him and Amy, or so he hoped, and now Rory was gone, swallowed by the crack in time. To Amy, to the whole world in fact, Rory Williams had never existed, had never loved Amelia Pond or been the one man actually envied by a time lord. Rory Williams was gone and all that remained his place was the Doctor, a fact that previously would have left grinning from ear to ear but now left him filled with guilt, with self loathing. He didn't want to be the sort of man who took pleasure in someone else's death, who used their erasement from history as a means to further their own relationship with the aforementioned man's future _wife_. Why could nothing be simple? Why couldn't Rory have just put his foot down and said, no, I'm not marrying a woman who's always going to be running off in a time machine? Why couldn't he just have refused to come in the first place and made everything so simple?

But things never worked out simple, and the Doctor knew that better than anyone. Here he was, with Amy Pond single once more, and he couldn't make a move because of overwhelming guilt for the feelings of a man who had now _never existed_, a man who had trusted him and he had failed to save. He spend so many nights after the event with the Silurians doing nothing more than turning Amy's engagement ring over and over in his hands, watching the gold metal sparkle in the soft TARDIS light, wondering if it would be easier to just toss it into a blackhole or into the heart of a neutron star and go along with the pretense. But he doesn't; he's not that cruel. Right now, he is the only being in the entire _universe _to remember the man Rory Williams and he is going to do that with dignity, even if it means cutting off his own blood supply, breaking his own hearts.

He hates Rory so much at this moment, yet he cant' help but love him, the same way it is with all of his travelling companions. He hates Rory and he loves him and he's going to remember him with respect.


	6. Left Me Blind

**Greetings dearies! Second drabble of the day and the idea for this one came from the lovely fishsticksandcustard! It's a two parter; the following drabble will tie in with this one. It's set during the Day of The Moon, when Amy is confessing her feelings over the nano-recorder.**

**Enjoy and please keep on reviewing! I'm so glad you're enjoying these!**

**XXX Raven**

He doesn't mean to hear but how he can help it? She sounds so sad, so desperate that it's all he can do not to go and wrench the nano-recorder from Rory's hands and keep it for himself. And oh God, the things she's saying. His eyes are tearing up.

"I love you. I know you think it's him. I know you think it ought to be him. But it's not, it's you."

His heart is thudding a disco beat in his ears, soaring wildly whilst he watched Rory's sink.

"And when I see you again, I'm going to tell you properly, just to see your stupid face."

Is she really saying this; is he really hearing this? Is Amy Pond really confessing her love for _him?_

"My life was so boring before you just dropped out of the sky. So just get your stupid face where I can see it, OK?"

It's like he's a firework and someone has just lit his fusepaper because, seriously, no one should be able to get this high on words alone. He's flying, drunk on ecstatic joy. She loves him! She must do!

Of course, it would all later be thrown back in his face, but in that moment, he had never felt so elated and so ashamed.


	7. I Screamed Aloud

**Howdey all. This is the tie in drabble to the previous one, once again set in The Day of The Moon, though this one is at the end of that episode.**

**Please keep on reviewing and thank you once again to fishsticksandcustard for the Day of The Moon suggestion (:**

**XXX Raven**

He couldn't help himself. When he heard Amy explaining her words to Rory, explaining how it was him she had been talking about all along, he just had to excuse himself, dashing along the TARDIS corriders into his room and slamming the door shut behind him, not caring how it echoed. Harsh, grating sobs built up in his throat, forcing their way upwards and out between his lips, companion to the tears flowing down his cheeks like waterfalls. Oh Gods...Why did he have to build himself such a towering pyramid of hope when he knew it was always destined to be brought crashing down by the wrecking ball that was Amy and Rory's love? Why did he always have to fall for those who were taken? Why did he always want that which he could never have?

He sank down the wall, clutching his knees to his chest and rocking gently from side to side, trying to control himself. He wanted Rose, he wanted Jack, wanted Donna, Martha, Sarah-Jane. He wanted River. He wanted _Amy._ He wanted someone to come and hold him close and chase away all his sorrows, the monsters dwelling under his bed.

But no one ever came.


	8. I Can Hear Your Heartbeat

**Yo. As requested by OctoberWolf, here is a drabble set after The God Complex. Thank you for your lovely suggestion; you've managed to kick start a whole new train of thought for this drabble series! (:**

**Just a warning to say that from this drabble onwards, they're probably going to start getting darker.**

**Please review and until next time,**

**XXX Raven**

He is screaming, shouting, sobbing, and there is no one there to hear, no one there to watch as he breaks down and cries because, this time, he is alone again. He can feel the TARDIS hum in sympathy around him but it makes no difference; _she doesn't understand!_ He wants them at his side and at the same time wants them as far away as possible because that is the only way he can keep them safe, only way he can portect _her._ And it broke his hearts to see _her _look at him that way, to see that expression of bewilderment and injured trust, to see the shattered fragments of her broken faith shining in her beautiful eyes, a faith that he had been forced to break.

He would never forget that one single moment, when she looked at him and saw him clearly for the first time, saw the murderer, the fool, the coward that were all he was. That look of disbelief as she realised he was no hero, just another man running from his responsibilities. And here he is, doing the same again. He won't even say her name.

Amy Pond. The girl who dreamed of a raggedy doctor. The girl whose husband died time and time again for her, selflessly so that she could live. The girl who waited, now waiting no longer. Amy Pond. The girl who had held the Doctor's hearts within her hands and silently crushed the life out of them without ever knowing.


	9. I Tried To Find The Sound

**Yep, still sticking to my drabble a day promise. And as warned in the previous chapter, this drabble is a _lot _darker. Just to say, there are mentions of self-harm in this one.**

**Next one should be up tomorrow (:**

**Thanks for your wonderful reviews; please keep them coming!**

**XXX Raven**

Sitting in the TARDIS not long after his supposed death, the Doctor reflected on his words to Dorium. _It's the only way. Then they can all forget me. I got too big, Dorium. Too noisy. Time to step back into the shadows._ Not for the first time, he silently asked himself if that was he really wanted, if vanishing back into the night, becoming part of the enigmatic legend that was the fall of Gallifrey and the time lords was his true calling. And the answer was still no.

He didn't want them forgetting him; he didn't want _Amy_ forgetting him. He wanted to be cherished and loved and to be part of a whole. He supposed it all spanned from being alone for so long. But either way, it was Amy he wanted to give him all that. Funny that. It was always the red-heads. Sure, he had loved Rose back in his ninth fom and into his tenth. He had liked Martha when she was around. But neither of them had compared to Donna and Amy, neither of them had been able to make him feel the same way as those too crazy, wacky, downright mouthy gingers that had stolen his very hearts from beneath his nose without him ever realising.

Suddenly, the memories were too much and with an anguished cry, he tore himself from the floor of the TARDIS, fleeing down her long twisting corriders until he reached that one special room, his room of hidden things. Here was where he stored those final keepsakes that were all that remained of his past companions, the only things he had left by which to remember them by. Photographs, items of clothing, small seemingly worthless trinkets. They were all here. And so was the book.

It was quite a beautiful thing to regard, bound as it were in burgundy leather and guilded in gold. A gift from his dear friend Charles Darwin, a journal in which to "store that which is important.". It was near filled to the brim, each page containing nothing more than a picture, a name and a date. The pictures started off as drawings or sketched, gradually moving onto to photographs as it progressed down the years. And what did all the pages have in common? Every person they showed had travelled with him or died for him, sometimes both. Every person in it was gone. Almost lovingly, he flicked through the pages, tenderly stroking his fingers over the familiar faces, ignoring the small dried blood stains that decorated the grainy cream paper, until he came to the final page and his eyes rested on the elegant letter opener that rested invitingly just beneath his touch, glimmering in the soft orange light. His hand hovered hesitantly above it before he stiffened his resolve and grasped it tightly.

On the next blank page, he wrote her name in his own blood; Amelia Pond, 17/9/11, adding "the girl who waited" just beneath that. Then he set to finding himself in all the crimson and pain, punishing himself for all that he had ever done wrong.


	10. And I Was In The Darkness

**Just a quick drabble, this one, but the next one should be up later today so hopefully that's OK. (: Please keep on reviewing; they are LOVE!**

**(PS. Special thanks to OctoberWolf for reviewing so often and providing inspiration!)**

**Enjoy! XXX Raven**

The Doctor didn't know when he had first began to lose himself. Somewhere along the line, the seconds had began to blend into minutes, the minutes in hours, the hours into days. The pain merges into one great big hurt with only the occasional flare of agony to pass the time. And the bloodstains in the Hidden Room grow larger, thicker, darker. Slowly, he is losing himself, trapped without hope, his sanity wasting away. Inch by inch, it crumbles, brick by brick, it falls. And he falls with it.

He hasn't seen daylight for so long. He simply set the TARDIS to drift through space, never coming into contact with civilisation, with anything at all. He drifts through the darkness and it seems fitting.

Darkness in his mind. Darkness in his heart. Darkness where there should be Amy. And darkness all around.


	11. So Darkness I Became

**As promised, here is the second drabble of the day! However, I have kinda noticed that this is more of a story being told by drabbles than a drabble series but oh well (: Hope you're all still liking this and that my writing's not too bad!**

**Please review!**

**XXX Raven**

* * *

><p>Everything's gone to Hell and back again. Feelings, thoughts, sanity...All are running out of the Doctor's control. The desire for companionship, for Amy, even for Rory, is so overwhelming, it's a near physical need. He can't cope; not even the book will help this time and he gives a little snort at this thought. He's a doctor and he can't even cure himself. What does that say about him?<p>

There's a distant ringing that he at first he thinks is in his head but then he realises is coming from the console room...He hasn't been in there for so long; one of the perks of the TARDIS is how indefinately massive it is. He's been slowly working his way through all the rooms, rediscovering those he thought were lost and finding ones that he never knew existed. Tipping his head to one side, the Doctor listened intently, hearing sharp insistant alarm bells, flashing lights becoming obvious as he approached. Entering the console room was like greeting an old friend. It had been so long that it appeared new once more, new and at the same time old. He trailed a gentle hand along the railing, running his fingers across all the buttons and levers before bringing them to rest on the moniter.

"What is it, old girl?" he asked softly, the first words he had spoken since that conversation with Dorium months, maybe even years ago. A small smile filled with dark humour touched his bloodless lips as he examined the read out. "Guess this is it then. Finally."

They had ventured to close to a quaser, the TARDIS being thrown to and fro by the vast rays of gas and radio waves being given off, plummeting beyond control. Grasping tightly ahold of the console, the Doctor threw back his head and laughed, reminding of the time just after he'd regenerated from his 10th form, before he'd known a certain red head, before he'd fallen in love with her. And like the last time, it seemed like he was beyond hope, falling with nothing to catch them, heading towards certain death. Might as well say it now, he thought grimly.

"Love you, Pond." Then, as an afterthought: "Geronimo."

It lacked his usual enthusiasm, stiff and lifeless and despairing, exactly how he felt inside. Because in that moment, the Doctor, last remaining time lord, the man who ran from his future, wished for death to catch him in its numbing embrace.


	12. I Took The Stars And Made A Map

**Thank you SO MUCH for your amazing reviews! I'm so glad you all like this! I know I'm gushing but I'm so happy!**

**Just to say, it's official. This is a story told through drabbles. It wasn't what it started out as but hey, I'm enjoying writing this! (: **** And I'm still writing a drabble a day! I've managed to stick to that promise!**

**Please keep your reviews coming - I LOVE reading them! (:**

**XXX Raven :)**

He remembers smoke and fire, heat and noise, the screech of sirens and the distant hum of the Cloister bell. Fuel drips from the engines and poisonous fumes seep into the console room, causing him to cough and choke, curling up in pain. Still alive then. He blinks and looks around, takes in the bright orange flicker of flames filtering through the haze, the red warning light on the moniter just visible. As things go, it's not too bad. No worse than the last time he crashed the TARDIS, inadvertent as that may have been. He can still remember that day ever so clearly, still remember his little Amelia Pond, seven years old with a crack in her bedroom wall and a strange singed man sitting in her kitchen eating fish fingers and custard...

He chuckled then winced. Oh, not good. Not good at all. There's blood seeping through his fingers but he doesn't care; it's not like he has anything left to live for, is it? He lies there and laughs and inhales the toxins, feeling his hearts speed up with each breath, his body fighting to repel the contamination trickling through his veins. Suddenly, there is a flash beside him, something sparking against his skin. For some reason he feels to him like a slap, like someone was standing before him angrily. In his head, a voice echoed.

_Get up, you stupid fool! I haven't protected you for so long for you to throw it all away! Up! NOW!_

He recognises it instantly, though he hasn't heard it for so long. Oh, Idris, his darling Idris, his amazing sexy old girl, humming away inside her matrix, watching him with proud eyes, leading him, helping him, loving him. Oh, what did she think of him now, reduced to this pitiful wreck? She must be so disappointed...

And that was like flicking a switch in his mind. Suddenly, they're all there, urging him on, telling him to get out, to save himself for them. River, his beautiful darling River, screaming herself hoarse at him. Rose, reaching out for him, eyes desperate and pleading. Rory - which surprises him - furious faced, demanding for him to stop this madness. And Amy...Oh, Amy. His lovely fiery ginger Amelia, gazing at him with soulful eyes, her expression saddened. In his mind, he can hear her voice.

_"It's you. You came back." _Followed by his own. _"Course I come back. I always come back."_

That had been a promise, a promise he was now breaking. He made that promise to Amy and now he was breaking it, just like he'd broken her faith. He couldn't do that to her. He couldn't be so cruel. Gritting his teeth, he pulled himself up, gazing at the doors high above him. The TARDIS must be lying on its side; it was going to be a struggle but he _would _make it. He would make it for Amy and that was a promise.

What felt like hours later, he was crawling out of the TARDIS, gasping for best, flopping onto the ground like a dying fish, groaning as he surveyed his surroundings. He paused, then began to laugh as the familiar scene leapt out at him. That house, still as old and crumbling as he remembered. That garden, just as overgrown and tangled as he remembered. Leadworth. Back where he had started.

As he slipped into the grips of unconsciousness, the Doctor felt the first vestige of true happiness in a long time as he realised he was finding himself again.


	13. Found My Way Back

**Heya again, second chapter drabble uploaded! There's a problem though - I'm running out of lyrics from Cosmic Love for the chapter titles! If you have any suggestions for a fitting song then please do let me know! (:**

**Once again, thank you for all the reviews! I love you all so much for them! Please keep them coming!**

**XXX Raven**

Consciousness returns with a bang rather than a whimper, jolting the Doctor from the land of not so pleasant dreams. He stirs, letting out a moan, before rolling over and retching pitifully, feeling his breath rasp painfully in his throat. The light stings his eyes and the smell hurts his nostrils and the sound drills into his skull. Everything is just so up and in his face; it's because he has been inside for so long, he realises. He feels worse than when River infected him with the Judas Tree poison. Urgghh...Something's crawled into his mouth and died.

Groaning, he attempts to stumble to his feet, legs decidely wobbly beneath him, side screaming at him in agony. The door to the house is just metres away...metres. As far as he knows, Amy's parents still live there. Maybe, they'll be able to contact their daughter for him...maybe. He cries out again as the world spins and he nearly topples over. God...How much of those fumes did he inhale? It's like being drunk and hungover at the same time. But the door is there and suddenly he's falling against it, slumped against the peeling blue wood with barely the energy to remain upright, let alone knock. But knock he does and the door is pulled open and he's falling forwards and somebody is catching him but he can't see who it is.

"Amy," he rasps. "Need to speak to Amy. Need to tell her I'm sorry..." His eyes flutter closed; he figures it must be Amy's father but that assumption is proven wrong when the figure speaks with an all too familiar voice.

"Doctor? Oh God, Doctor, what the hell happened? Amy? AMY!"

It's Rory and he has never been so glad to hear the man in his lives because Rory means that his fiesty ginger is here too. There are footsteps hurrying above, pounding down the stairs.

"_AMY!"_

"I'm coming! Sheesh!"

It's the first time the Doctor has heard her voice since leaving her and Rory at their new home; the pair must be staying at Amy's parents' for the weekend or something.

From far away, Rory shouts "Stay with me, Doctor! Stay with me!"

The Doctor smiles dazedly, eyes unfocused. "Came back." he mumbles proudly. "_Always _come back."

And then the darkness is back, only this time it's warm and restful and filled with calm.


	14. Heard Your Heart Beating

**Yo! Happy World Egg Day!**

**OctoberWolf - Thank you for the song suggestions, though I see what you mean about The Never Ending Why fitting in too well with the canon storyline so I won't be using it. However, thank you for mentioning it because I listened to it and loved it and it's now making a welcome addition to my iPod!**

**Another song I recently found was Shake It Out by the brilliant Florence + The Machine. I was hooked from first listen and it's the song I might be using for the next chapter titles (: I recommend it - it's amazing and the lyrics fit quite well with this story!**

**If you have any other suggestions, please let me know!**

**Reviews are LOVE! **

**XXX Raven **

The Doctor finds himself drifting in a soft embracing black, surrounded by warmth, which makes a nice change seeing as his sleep is normally fitiful and icy, a dark pit from which he seeks to avoid. For some reason, he can't quite remember falling asleep but he dismisses this; after all you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. The rest is quite and pleasant and for that he is grateful, a full night's sleep being few and far between. So he settles down to enjoy it while it lasts.

Somewhere in the course of this relaxing state of simple existance, he begins to hear voices. Nothing too unusual there; he hears them so often, they're more real than the majority of what he sees. Except these ones are different and he frowns. Amy's voice is a common occurance but the other...The other sounds like Amy's mother...Why would he imagine her?

"_Any change, dear?"_

"_No, Mum. I've never seen him like this...I'm scared; he's the Doctor, he's not supposed to be lying there practically comatose!"_

"_I'm sure he'll be fine. From what you've told me, it sounds like he's a fighter."_

The voices fade. Odd...he's never had a dream quite like that. Yes, he was a fighter but that was long ago, when he actually had something to fight for. Now, he's just another deserter from the army of life, lost in his memories.

"_How did he manage to get like this."_

"_Dunno. Those look like burns and the TARDIS was smoking so I'm assuming something happened and he crashed. But his forearms...Sorry Amy, but they look self-inflicted."_

"What?_But he wouldn't, Rory..."_

Just like that, they're back again. Why won't they leave him be? Is he not allowed a moment's peace? As something brushes against his arm almost tentatively, he wonders if in his indifference, he's allowed another alien pest to board the TARDIS unnoticed. Wouldn't be the first time... The touch is back and this time he let's out a moan, half heartedly attempting to swat it away. From far away comes a gasp.

"_Doctor? Rory! I think he's waking up! _Rory! _Get in here NOW!"_

A hand strokes his forehead, murmuring soft reassurances to him, twining through his hair. Suddenly, he realised he isn't dreaming.

"_Come on, Doctor. Open your eyes. You've avoided me for long enough!"_

"Amy?" he croaks uncertainly, forcing his unwilling eyelids to part and allow the light in, blinking blearily up at a wavering figure who quickly solidfies into the relieved features of his ex-companion, Amy Pond, glorious red hair swinging down in a curtain around her pale face. She smiles tearfully.

"Hey. Thought we'd lost you." She tries to conceal a sniff, hastily wiping her eyes.

The Doctor stares at her in wonder, greedily drinking all of her appearance in. She's barely changed and his heart is soaring as he asks himself why he ever left because surely all the suffering is worth it if he gets to see her everyday. He grins sleepily.

"You never lost me, Pond. And you're never going to."


	15. I'd Stay In The Darkness With You

**Gah! I'm on my last lyric of Cosmic Love! But fear not because I've got some other songs waiting in the wings - Shake It Out and Blinding (OctoberWolf, you have officially got me hooked on that song!), both by Florence and the Machine! However, I'm still not too sure about them so if you have any suggestions, please say!**

**Just a quick warning, from here on, I reckon the drabbles are gonna get darker again!**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**By the way, I love you guys for all the reviews, story alerts and story favourites! Please keep them coming!**

**Just wanna say, this is the edited version! There were a few typos in here that I missed but the lovely OctoberWolf pointed them out and I corrected them. Thank you, dear; you are a STAR! **

**XXX Raven**

Now sat up in bed, the Doctor could do nothing other than stare at Amy, a fact that did not escape unnoticed by the fiesty redhead. However, she remained unfazed by his rather odd behaviour, leaning forward in her seat to gently grasp his hand, running a reassuring finger over the back of it.

"So, why did you do it?" she asked, meeting his gaze calmly. He looked away, trying to pretend he didn't know what she was talking about.

"Do what?" he whispered, voice still croaky, which was hardly surprising considering how much smoke he had taken upon himself to inhale, He tried to pull his hand away but Amy's grip remained firm.

"Don't try and bluff your way out of this." she warned. "Now, let's get this out of the way now, before it causes trouble. Why did you hurt yourself?"

"I didn't. It happened when the TARDIS crashed." Why couldn't he tell her the truth; this was Amy; she'd be able to help him...But that was exactly why he _didn't _tell her. Because this was _Amy._ As it was, it made no difference. She saw straight through him, as always.

"DOCTOR! Will you stop _lying _to me?" Amy threw her hands up in exasperation, looking ready to tear her hair out. "You fake your own death and do a disappearance act on us, the only information we can find on your whereabouts is what we hear from River, and even _she _didn't have a clue where you were, and then you crash back into my life _again_ and expect us all to simply nod and say that everything's hunky dory! Well, it doesn't work that way! You don't get cuts like that from a crash; they are _deliberate!_ Now why did you do it?"

He slumped in defeat and hastily wiped a tear from his eye. "Punishment." he finally admitted. "To ease my guilt. Like with the Dream Lord, only physical." He couldn't meet her disbelieving stare, couldn't face the disappointment that was probably etched into her expression. So he was taken by surprise when she edged up onto the bed beside him and tenderly looped her arms around him, pulling him close.

"Oh, you silly silly man." she sighed. "You don't need punishment; you're the most brilliant person I know! You've saved so many people and yet you don't even realise it! Hey, you saved me and Rory from a lifetime of boredom; you've _got _to be good! Was that a smile I saw?" Her voice became teasing as she peered at the Doctor, a small smile of her own in place. "Come on, give me a smile!"

Tentatively, the corners of his lips lifted up and he felt Amy's arms tighten around him fondly. "That's my Doctor." she murmured into his hair, carding her fingers through his dark locks.

"Missed you." he answered softly. "It was too quiet without you and Rory constantly moaning in my ear!"

He felt her lips brush against his ear and leaned into the touch, sighing noiselessly. "Oi! Now, why don't you spit out the _other thing _that's bothering you? You can't hide from me!"

"Am I that transparent?" he whispered, resting his head on her shoulder. As she nodded, he looked at her, wondering if now was the time to tell her. She knew what he had been doing to himself, there was no sign of Rory, Amy was hugging him...But he couldn't to that to her. He couldn't wrench apart the happiness she shared with Rory. He wasn't that cruel.

"I didn't like being alone." he said instead. "It was too empty, too lonely. I didn't have anything to distract me from dwelling on the past."

He feels the slightest twinge of guilt and sorrow at having to lie once more but he'll deal with that when it comes. For now, he was content to remain in his darkness if Amy was by his side.


	16. Love In My Body But Have To Hold It In

**Yup, so I succeeded in finding another song, though it wasn't one of the two I'd thought I'd use (: I'll leave it a mystery to give you a chance to try and guess it!**

**Thanks again to OctoberWolf for pointing out the typos in the last chapter; hopefully there aren't any in this one! (:**

**For some reason, I've decided to watch Scream as I write this. At 11.36pm at night. By myself. With the lights off. Not the best of ideas but we'll see how it goes (: If I start writing really strange fics soon after then you'll know what happened! (I watched A Nightmare on Elm Street then went and wrote a story about a psychopath who believed he was a incarnation of Freddy Kruegar. Oh, how my mind works!)**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter and please take the time to review! It means a lot!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Recovery. That was what they called the period in which he and the TARDIS healed from their respective wounds. But it wasn't recovery as such, it was more of a patch-up, for the Doctor at least. Oh, the wounds on his flesh faded but the wounds inside remained open bleeding sores onto which he pours salt daily, salt from being so close to Amy yet so distant. They're staying in the same house, Amy's parents being happy enough for him to remain until Amy is convinced of his mental well being, but they couldn't have been further apart. She hugged him and constantly told him never to leave them like that again and he was happy enough but inside, bit by bit, he was dying; slowly, painfully, quietly. And it was agony.<p>

Amy knew something was up; it was obvious in the way she watched him like a hawk and how she had Rory tailing him like some forlorn puppy and the way her eyes narrowed and she bit her lip as she considered him. She knew and at the same time she didn't.

But the person who stumbled upon the truth was the person he least expected. The Doctor was sitting at the Ponds' kitchen table, grudgingly allowing Rory to redress the lacerations on his arms, when the man sighed, put down the dressing he was holding and gazed at the Doctor.

"It's OK, you know. I'm not gonna order you out or anything like that; _I understand_. Hell, I'm used to it. Everybody loves Amy; none of them can understand what she's doing with a loser like me. Why should you be any different?"

_You're not a loser, _the time lord wants to say, but his traitorous tongue won't let him. Instead, he looks down at the table guiltily, unable to speak.

Rory leans back. "Thought so. Look, I know you hate me so it doesn't make any difference. Just tell me the truth about how you feel about Amy!"

The Doctor is surprised; he doesn't _hate _Rory. He never has. At first he couldn't quite understand where the man had gotten that from but then it clicked. And he felt guiltier than ever.

"I've never hated you Rory.' he whispers softly. "I'm...I'm _jealous _of you. You've got Amy; she's all yours and nobody can ever take that from you. Me? I have no one, at least not for any length of time."

Now understanding is dawning on Rory's face only to be replaced by puzzlement. "But haven't you got River?" he asks in confusion. "I mean, she is your wife."

The Doctor felt like throwing his hands up in despair; _nobody got it! _"I never really have River. Our time lines are all back to front; my firsts are her lasts. I watched her die, Rory! And then she's back again and I'm never sure which River I'm getting! Tell me that's love! Tell me that's love when you don't even know if your wife today is going to be the same as your wife yesterday! Tell me, Rory!"

"You love Amy, don't you?" Rory states bluntly, ignoring the Doctor's demand. "You love her but you won't admit it. So go on. _Tell me_ that's the truth; I won't judge you."

Finally, the Doctor realises that he can't lie his way out of this situation. He slumps down onto the tabletop, tracing patterns across the surface with a gentle finger before glancing up.

"I love Amy." There. That was first time he'd physically said it, the first time he had spoken those words aloud. And it felt good, like getting something off his chest, except only partially, because the monstrous dark still had its claws sunk deep into his hearts and wouldn't let go until it had what it wanted. Amy.

Rory closes his eyes, gingerly massaging the bridge of his nose as if this was what he'd been afraid of. Which it probably was. "OK," he declared, taking this revelation surprisingly well. "I think you should maybe tell Amy then we can work on sorting this little..._problem_ out."

The Doctor all but leaps to his feet, reaching across the table to grab Rory by the lapels and shake him.

"I can't!" he wails. "I can't do that to her! Can't you see how happy she is? She's happy with _you! _I can't destroy that! Please don't make me do that to her, Rory. Please." He wasn't aware that he had started crying, wasn't aware that he'd released his death grip on Rory's shirt, wasn't aware that he had sunk to the ground, repeating "Please." over and over like a mantra.

But he was aware of Rory kneeling down beside him and of the man's arms wrapping around him and of his soft voice in his ear telling him that it was alright.

Rory Williams held the Doctor as he cried on the floor.


	17. Pours From My Eyes, Spills From My Skin

**Greetings my lovelies! I bring you today's daily drabble chapter!**

**I had the common sense to turn off Scream last night (: 2 reasons; one, there was another program I wanted to watch, and two, I was seeing things. Like actually imagining things that weren't there. What can I say? Overactive imagination + horror film + late at night = masked serial killers creeping up behind you (:**

**Anyway, moving on from my fascination with horror films. I'm sort of exploring the relationship between the Doctor and Rory now, developing their friendship, seeing as at the moment the Doctor's motto seems to be 'one step forward, an entire flight of stairs backwards' in this fic and I quite like having Rory have to pick up the pieces. (I'm beginning to see why some authors like pairing them together! However, don't worry. This is still Doctor/Amy!)**

** It's safe to say this has become AU now (: I've got some great ideas for where this story could go; watch this space!**

**Out of curiosity, has anyone recognized the new lyrics yet or is it still too early?**

**Reviews are the greatest gift you can give to a fanfic author! Please tell me what you think!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Staying true to the Doctor's pleads, Rory never mentions the alien's love for Amy, though it is visible in the way he glances between the pair that he is constantly having to bite the revelation back. Oddly enough, he doesn't seem to mind, almost viewing it as an honour that he has wife so pretty and funny and clever as to warrant a time lord's devotion. And as he promised, he attempts to help the Doctor, introducing him to various young women of his acquaintance, taking him on numerous 'male bonding' trips. Amy is pleased, delighted to see 'her two boys' getting on so well, overjoyed at the apparent progress the Doctor has made. Oh, if she could only see the state of his mind, the state of his hollow beating hearts...<p>

The women he met were nice enough, some of them he might even have considered inviting to travel with him in the TARDIS had he been alone, but they couldn't fill the empty void within his soul, that bottomless chasm that existed where love and joy and happiness were supposed to dwell. To put it simply, they weren't Amy, and that fact alone was satisfactory to sending him tumbling back into the spirals of depression he had hoped to escape. The knives called for him again, the metal sung of the relief it could grant him, of the help it could offer. And like a moth to a flame, he is trapped again, caught up in his whirlwind loop of suffering and self-torture, revelling in the agonising ecstasy.

As he digs the knife into his flesh in a particularly vicious manner, the Doctor admires the way the blood trickles out of his veins and down his pale skin, so vibrantly crimson and pulsing with energy, strange when compared to his own lifeless exterior. How could something so _alive_ flow out of someone so _dead? _It's surreal yet strangely beautiful and he cannot help but like it, this proof that there is within him still something that continues to crave the thrills of life.

It's rather funny, he thinks, that he's been reduced to this pitiful wreck, lusting after a human girl that he will most definately outlive, that he is so much more important than...No, that's a lie. He is utterly worthless compared to the blazing star that is Amelia Pond and the wonderful compassionate galaxy of her husband, a man he has only truly started to notice. Compared to them, he is little more than a fading supernova, brilliant to behold one moment, a shell of its former glory the next. He is the Doctor, the so-called Oncoming Storm; pathological liar, coward, self-harmer, monster, murderer. He is nothing worth saving.

He wonders why he allows Rory to find him sitting at the bottom on the garden, dripping with his own blood, staring numbly at the small vegetable knife clasped within his hand. He wonders why he allows Rory to gently remove the knife from his grip and lead back into the house, sitting him down in the kitchen which is fast turning into a medical bay. He wonders why he allows Rory to silently bind up these new wounds of his and offer him painkillers and a shoulder to cry on. He wonders why when it's Amy he wants.

And Rory sighs inwardly as he once again finds himself with a broken time lord, a bloodied kitchen and a torn conscience. This was going to be harder than he initially thought.


	18. Tenderest Touch Leaves The Darkest Mark

**Yo! Just wanna say I love you guys so much for all the support you've been showing for this story! I'm hoping to get several chapters up today so keep an open eye! (:**

**Finally gotten reached a turning point in this story; hope you like it!**

**Once again, I really appreciate your thoughts on my writing; please review!**

**Until later,**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"You need to stop doing this," Rory sighs as he pulls the needle through the Doctor's skin, biting off the excess thread with his teeth. "Amy's getting suspicious, not to mention worried. You really scared her when you collapsed earlier."<p>

Tenderly, he rests a hand against the sickly time lord's forehead, pulling it away when the Doctor winces at his touch. "Your temperature's still up," he observes. Once again, he moves to check the Doctor's glands, only for him to recieve the same reaction as before, causing him to slump back in defeat. "I can't help you if you won't let me!"

"Don't want help," was the answering murmur, the first verbal response the alien had given Rory. "What's the point? Nothing to live for...just wanna die."

"You don't mean that! Look at me!" Rory lifts the Doctor's face up to look at him, staring into those lifeless green eyes almost despairingly. "It would break Amy's heart if you killed yourself!"

"She's got you." the time lord answered carelessly. "Besides, she breaks my hearts everyday. I'd just be returning the favour."

"DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Rory suddenly bellows, not knowing when he started caring so much. "Don't you even think about it." he repeats more soflty.

There is no answer.

And unknown to the pair of them, Amy Pond stands listening outside the kitchen, biting her lip in an effort to hold back the sobs, silent tears trickling down her cheeks as she realises just what is wrong with her raggedy man.


	19. Kindest of Kisses

**Heya all, I bring you today's second chapter! Loving all your reviews; I'd give you all a group hug if I could! (:**

**Just a quick note to say the planet of Albatruyon mentioned in this chapter is one of my own creation (there's a better description of it in chapter 1 of my first Doctor Who fanfic, Who's Afraid of The Big Bad Wolf). I keep meaning to write a bit more about it; maybe one day I will (:**

**Plotline's moving along here! Hope you're all liking where this story is going!**

**Please keep on reviewing! Hugs for you all!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>The Doctor isn't too sure what comes over him; one moment he is lying there weighing up the pros and cons of death, the next he is on his feet, suddenly overwhelmed with the need for the TARDIS, the need to travel and fly and view the entirety of space. Without a second's thought, he is racing to where his ship stands abandoned, fighting his way through the nettles to reach the door as he calls for Amy and Rory to come quick. They do just that, sprinting out the house, eyes wide in wonder as they watch him practically bounce into the TARDIS, motioning for them to follow.<p>

"Doctor, what are you doing?" Amy asks warily as she creeps inside, frowining at the dingy disrepair the normally vibrant time ship has fallen into. The Doctor gives no response, instead blowing layers of dust from the console and triumphantly whack a button, causing the engines to thrum to life all around them, light suddenly flooding the interior. Grinning wildy, the Doctor turns to face his friends, clapping his hands together jovially.

"We're going to see the stars!" he declares, unable to explain exactly why, only knowing that the urge is an almost physical need. A murmuring encouraging voice hisses in his head, saying what a great idea it would be to travel again, to _live._ The two Ponds offer no protests, so relieved to see the return of their excitable, crazy, impulsive Doctor.

He takes them to the see the rolling oceans of Albatruyon, to visit the real Atlantis, hearts swelling with joy as he watches their expressions of delight at the mermen Albatrunians. For the first time in what seems like years, he feels like himself again, not the shattered hopeless wreck of before. And it is amazing; he feels so _free_, like a massive weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Rory is looking at him with such pride, pleased to see him so full of energy, so lustful for life, and Amy...Her expression is more subdued but all the louder for it, a convoluted mix of love and happiness and content underlined with what could be..._longing?_ When Rory leaves them alone in the console room to do his buisness, she approaches him quietly, a soft smile on her face.

"I knew my raggedy doctor was in there somewhere." she whispers in his ear as she draws him into a tight embrace. She pulls away to look him in the eye. "I heard." she tells him bluntly. "You and Rory speaking, I heard you and I know. So why didn't you tell me?"

The Doctor's mouth goes dry, because Amy is not supposed to know, and no words form on his tongue, leaving him gaping at her mutely without a clue what to do. But suddenly, his decision is made for him, for Amy's lips are on his own and oh God, it's just as good as he imagined except it's _wrong_. He's been kissed by Amy before and it was so different to this in everything from taste to technique. His first kiss with the red-head had been soft and gentle and loving whilst this was desperate and needy and desirous. Before, she had tasted like warm apples and cinnamon, now her lips were metallic and tangy. He pushes her away from himself, hastily wiping his lips, trying to rid them of the sensation of warm flesh against their own, staring in shock at the _thing _masquerading as Amy Pond. Because no human could taste like that, no human could have eyes as cold and mechanical as those eyes are. Oh, it acts like her, it looks like her, it talks like her, it even cares like her, but it's not his girl with the fairytale name. It is an imposter, one he should have and would have noticed quicker if it weren't for his moping in his pit of despair.

It is not Amelia Pond.


	20. Break The Hardest of Hearts

**Howdey dearies! Glad ya all liked that little twist I gave you last chapter. You'd better brace yourselves; there's more to come!**

**Once again, thank you for all the support and appreciation you're all showing; give yourselves a cookie!**

**Anyone guessed the song yet?**

**XXX Raven**

**PS: Please continue reviewing! I love you all!**

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><p>Slowly, carefully, the Doctor backs away from this Amy doppelganger, unable to tear himself away from the lustful expression it wears, from the hungry desire within its eyes. He can feel a deep fear growing within, a fear that he hasn't felt since the last time Amy disappeared. Except this time, this is not a Flesh ganger operated by his friend, it is a clone, a copy with its own mind, own needs, own agenda. There's something almost vampiric about it.<p>

"What are you doing, Doctor?" the not-Amy grins. "I thought you wanted this. I thought this was what you've been yearning for for oh so long." Its voice is a sultry whisper, low and breathy and suggestive. "Don't you want me, Doctor? Don't you want _all_ of me?" It knows he knows. It is the cat chasing the terrified mouse into the corner.

The Doctor feels a small squeak escape his lips; all around him the TARDIS hums in what sounds like shock. As the doppelganger takes another step towards him, the time lord's fight or flight instinct kicks in and he takes to his feet, fleeing down the twisting corriders, looking over his shoulder in fright. He doesn't see where he's going, doesn't notice Rory until he's collided head on with the man and the pair of them have tumbled to the floor, rubbing their heads and groaning.

"What's up?" Rory asks, shakily picking himself up off the metal walkway, blinking hard to clear the daze from his eyes. "Where's Amy?"

The Doctor simply stares at him wide-eyed; after all, how do you tell a man that his wife just kissed you and that his wife isn't actually his wife at all but an evil duplicate.

"That's not Amy." he answers slowly. "Whatever it is, it's not Amy."

And Rory simply sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Don't look at me like that!" he demands. "She only acts the way you want her to! Same with me! We're what you want us to; it's your mind! Don't blame us!"

"W...what?" The Doctor can't understand what he is hearing; it feels like he's been dumped into an ocean with weights tied to his waist, sinking quickly to the bottom, drowning in salty darkness. Suddenly, nothing is making sense.

"Oh Doctor..." Rory exhales in exasperation. "You really are a hopeless case. Use that smart time lord brain of yours and figure it out! Your mind, your dream, your reality! Now why don't you wake yourself up so we can talk properly?"

The Doctor discerns that it is not Rory saying this but someone else, someone communicating to him through Rory's guise. Still, he can't quite fathom what exactly is happening.

"W...wake myself up?" he asks in bewilderment. "I...I don't get it."

Rory rolls his eyes. "The wonders of virtual reality, eh?"

And all of a sudden, the Doctor's surroundings are disintegrating around him, folding up into grey and white squares, Rory's form dissolving into a string of code. The illusion is torn away and the time lord can see the computer matrix behind it all, flickering past faster than he can comprehend. He squeezes his eyes tightly shut.

When he opens them, he is somewhere else entirely.


	21. Held In Some Dreaming State

**Hola mis amigos! I give you today's daily update! Hopa ya all enjoying the story so far (: **

**Please keep on reviewing! Reading them brightens up any day!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Bright white light surrounds the Doctor as he blinks blearily, trying to force his uncooperative eyes to focus. Everything swims around him, the occasional blob of darkness standing out stark against the purity of his surroundings, which look oddly familiar. Various voices echo, sounding odd against ears which have not heard true sound for so long. Judging by the stiff aches running through his muscles, the parchedness of his throat and the how famished he feels, the Doctor surmises that, wherever he is, he has been here for a while.<p>

_"__Is it wise to waken him, Madame?"_

The rough oily voice grates against his eardrums, causing him to wince. When did things start sounding so _loud?_ A goblin-faced man, or at least he assumes it's a man, comes into view, peering at him curiously.

"_What does it matter if we bring him to now? This place is near destroyed, running on skeleton systems, needing only a fraction of what it did. We don't need the energy; we've got enough stored. Besides, I need someone intelligent to talk to."_

This voice is female, cold and impassive, sending shivers running down his spine as he realises who it belongs to. But...How could she be here, if here is where he thinks it to be? Surely, she would have long since abandoned this place, left it to rot, a ruined desolate shrine to the past.

"Over here, darling," the woman commands, a taunting sing-song lilt to her voice. "You're going to have to look sooner or later."

Loathe to do as she asks, the Doctor slowly turns his head, bones in his neck cracking as he does so. He sighs at what he sees.

"Kovarian."

"Doctor." Madame Kovarian gives him a sharkish grin, fingers curled around a champagne flute. "So glad you chose to join us."


	22. A Tourist In The Waking World

**Greetings dearies from chilly Britain where the wind is howling, the temperatures are plummeting and the weather is generally nasty! I swear this country must be drifting closer to the Arctic Circle!**

**Love how much you're all enjoying this - OctoberWolf, your review on chapter 20 made me laugh aloud! I'm afraid I'm not the Grand Moff (or even related to him in any way ): Could you imagine having him as a relative? That would be _awesome!_)**

**Just wanna say, I will go into Madame Kovarian's past (seeing as the BBC saw fit to deprive us of any background info on her) That will come in a later chapter (:**

**Anyway, bye for now and please continue reviewing! Reviews = a happy author = hugs for you all + more chapters (:**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>The Doctor feels like hitting his head of a wall. Of course it has to be <em>her; <em>she is the one menace that refuses to die quietly, the parasitic pest surviving all that is thrown at it. A cockroach, he decides. The woman surveys him over the rim of her glass, smiling in that all knowing manner of hers, watching his every movement.

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?" she asks finally, taking a delicate sip of champagne. "It's rather quiet..."

"What am I supposed to say?" he croaks and she laughs delightedly, leaning forward in her seat.

"You've just discovered that what you thought was reality is nothing more than an illusion. Why don't you get the important questions out of the way?"

"How..." The Doctor stops running his tongue across the inside of mouth, trying to cure that dry, rasping sensation currently plaguing him. "Any chance of some water?" he rasps hopefully.

"Of course. Enawin, fetch our guest of honour a drink." Kovarian clicks her fingers at the hunched goblin man, sending him scurrying out of the room. She goes back to studying the Doctor.

"What have you done with Amy and Rory?" the Doctor asks, attempting to lift his arms and finding them tied down. He frowns; now that he's noticed that, he can feel the tug of other restraints and wires against his skin, holding him in place. He's dressed in some sort of gown thing, much like a hospital robe...

"Darling, I can assure you I have done nothing to your friends, at least not for three years." The woman stands up, walking regally over to where a wine cooler stood and selecting a bottle, pursing her lips in indecision before finally shrugging and pouring it out into her glass, swirling the liquid. It is an odd crystalline blue in colour, lightly sparkling and giving off small golden bubbles. "Fekalonian Champagne, one of only three bottles know to exist outside of the Fekalonia galaxy. I have two of them." She tells him this rather proudly, as if expecting some sort of reaction, but the Doctor is too caught up in her last statement.

"What do you mean, at least not for three years? What happened three years ago?"

Madame Kovarian gives him a throaty chuckle. "Three years ago to this day, three years in this timeline, not yours, you and Rory Williams stormed this station to rescue a certain Miss Pond and her baby daughter. Three years ago to this day, I made off with Melody Pond and gave her over to the Silence before returning here because after all, I could hardly leave you here all alone, could I? Not after you've proved so useful!"

"What...what do you mean?" A cold chill begins to creep over the Doctor, dread filling his heart at those words. "How...how long have I been here?"

"5 years."

"And when did...did you _capture _me? Because I'm assuming I didn't come willingly."

"You mean to say you don't remember? After all the fuss and problems you caused us? But then again, I suppose it is easy to forget what is real and what is not when you've spent so long in the world of dreams."

"What happened?" He's nearly screaming at her now, ignoring the half-hearted protests his throat is sending him.

Madama Kovarian smirks, reaching forward to stroke a hand down the side of the Doctor's face.

"Think Doctor, think. Your faked death? You can remember that? Now, can you remember what happened _after, _after your conversation with Dorium? Can. You. Remember?"

The Doctor stays silent. He remembers now, wishes fervantly that he didn't. Oh, how he remembers.


	23. Wake Me From This Slumber

**Gah, you guys are gonna have me in tears one day with all your beautiful reviews! Thank you! So this chapter is dedicated to all you lovely reviewers and of course future reviewers! (speaking of which I finally got around to enabling anonymous reviews)**

**Anyway, I won't keep you any longer. On with the chapter!**

**Your thoughts are welcomed and loved.**

**XXX Raven (:**

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><p>Memories. The Doctor doesn't want to remember but there's no stopping them:<p>

_The Teselecta was malfunctioning, hardly surprising considering it had been hit not once but twice with a god-knows-what ray. However, it meant the antibodies were out in force which meant deletion was impending which meant the Doctor had to get out as fast as possible. Easily done; he just hopped into the TARDIS and hot-tailed it out of there, thinking nothing of the fact that he had left the empty Teselecta behind. Maybe if he had then things would have turned out differently._

_Unknown to the Doctor as he talked with Dorium, a certain woman wearing an eyepatch was examining the abandoned robot before raising a hand radio to her mouth and saying with a smirk, "Just as we thought. The sly dog's made his escape...Of course we're going after him; we need more power on Demon's Run."_

_Then she turned to the petrified River Song, still held captive within the astronaut suit, and smiled wickedly. "You, my dear, are coming with us. We're not done with you yet; we need a pilot for the TARDIS_."

_They came for him not long after that, waiting in ambush as he left Dorium's crypt then springing on him unexpectedly, pinning him to the floor and binding his wrists whilst Madame Kovarian stared down at him triumphantly, allowing her grunts to do all the dirty work._

_"Hello Doctor. Did you think we wouldn't work it out?" _

_He gazes back at her in resignment, strung up between two goblin men, blood running from nose where one of them hit him._

_"What do you want, Kovarian?" he spits out. "I'm going; I'm not going to bother anyone."_

_"We know that Doctor but we need you for something. Demon's Run's generator is lacking the...spark necessary for our business. We need a new power source; our old one is now redundant."_

_"If you want the TARDIS, you're not getting it. I won't give you the key. And anyway, isn't your 'buisness' there finished?"_

_"Doctor, Doctor, Doctor...Who said anything about wanting the TARDIS? What we want is you! As for our buisness, well, yes, it is finished in your timeline but you're forgetting something." Here, Kovarian leaned forward, her warm breath washing over the Doctor's face. "You have a time machine. We have a certain Miss Melody Pond, or is it Miss River Song now? We have all we need."_

_After that, there is only blackness. Blackness and pain._

The Doctor gasps back to reality, slumping forward in his restraints.

"How did you supress all that?" he mutters, wondering where the goblin grunt has gotten to with the water. Any moment now, he's going to pass out from dehydration. Madame Kovarian seems to realise this for she stands up and walks over to the wine cooler, snagging an empty glass and dipping it in to fill it with melt water from the ice. Coming back over, she raises it to the Doctor's lips, allowing him to slurp gratefully at the welcome liquid.

"Can't have you dropping dead on us now, can we?" she explains. "Not when there's so much fun to be had! Now come on dear, I know something's confusing you. So go on. Don't be afraid to spit it out."

"I don't understand what you wanted _me _for when the TARDIS would have been enough to power your station. In fact I don't understand what you even wanted a power source for in the first place when Demon's Run is no longer active."

Kovarian clapped her hands together delightedly. "Oh Doctor, you really are a scream! I would have thought it was obvious; you do have a time machine after all. And as for the power question, well why don't you take a look at yourself? Are you sure you don't feel a slight tingling sensation like, oh I don't know, cells _regenerating?_"

The Doctor felt a swell of sudden fear, his heart sinking in dread as he slowly tipped his head down in trepidation to look at his hand. Sure enough, a faint golden glow emanated from his skin.


	24. You Who Held Me Under

**Howdey dearies! And here comes the hopefully killer revelation!**

**I hope ya all like it; please review and tell me your thoughts!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"How?" was the first thing the Doctor asks following this revelation, looking up to stare at Madame Kovarian with pure unadulterated fear. This couldn't be happening; he wasn't ready to go, not when he'd barely gotten used to this body. He didn't even know how he could be regenerating; the shot from the suit hadn't affected him...or had it?<p>

"Don't worry your pretty little head, darling." Kovarian reassures, reading his expression. "You're not going to change anytime soon; our little operation here will ensure that. If you must know, the blow _did _affect you, just not enough to require full regeneration. All we did was help it along a bit."

"What did you do to me?" the Doctor demands, feeling his breath speed up in his chest and knowing that he was minutes away from descending into a panic attack, regardless of what Kovarian said. He didn't want to go; _he didn't want to die! _This rather ironic seeing as death had been his sole aim in the dream world. Kovarian waved a dismissive hand.

"Oh, what we had to. We found a way to induce a slower form of regeneration in time lords; that's why you're still with us."

"_WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?_"

"Calm yourself Doctor. I was getting there," The woman took a delicate sip of her blue champagne, closing her eyes to savour the taste. "Did you know that time lords can survive with just one heart, Doctor? Of course, the body tries to fix the problem by drawing cells from elsewhere and attempting to create a new heart, a process we'll refer to as partial regeneration. That's what we did to you Doctor; we removed one of your hearts and tah-dah! Instant battery!"

The Doctor feels sick in the realisation that his body has been corrupted without his knowing, sick that he hadn't even noticed that empty one beat drum's lonely thumping in his chest.

"You're very quiet, Doctor! Is it that shocking? We needed a power source; a time lord whilst regenerating gives off the post powerful energy in the known universe, the energy of _change._ All we did was tap into that. By siphoning off as much as possible, we managed to keep your body in a state of suspended examination, constantly giving off this amazing power, the energy of the stars! It'so different from using a supernova for power because that's what a regenerating time lord is; a living supernova."

"I... I still don't see why you'd need so much power. You told me yourself this place was defunct." he whispers, unable to look up, though he doesn't need to to know that Kovarian is rolling her eyes.

"You have a time machine, Doctor. What can a time machine do?"

His eyes widen as the realisation strikes him and he slowly shakes his head, moaning softly. "No...no...please no."

"Do you want to hear what we did, Doctor?" Kovarian asks cruelly, causing him to whimper softly.

"No! Please don't, please!"

Kovarian pays no heed to his pleads, rising to her feet to stand beside him and whisper softly in his ear. "Using your TARDIS, we brought you to about, oh, 4 years before we kidnapped Amelia? That gave us sufficient time and energy to plan our attack, to figure out how to fool you! Of course, you helped. We wouldn't have been able to do what we did without you; your own mind betrayed you!"

"No, no, no, no..." the Doctor repeats pointlessly, knowing that woman was going to tell him either way.

"You gave us the power to kidnap and imprison Amelia, to create a flesh avatar for her and replace her with it. You gave us the power to take Melody from her and train her to be the ultimate killer. You told us how to trick yourself, even if it was unwilling. So you see Doctor; Amelia's imprisonment, the theivery of her child, Melody's murderous nature. That's all thanks to you!"


	25. Felt It In The Hollows of My Eyelids

**Today's second drabble! Glad you're all enjoying this - please keep on reviewing!**

**EDITED - There were some tense errors in this chapter - a big thank you to OctoberWolf for pointing them out!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Kovarian leaves the Doctor alone after that shocking disclosure, allowing him to stew in that blank white room, all the more aware of every tube and wire leading in and out of his body, of his single remaining heart pumping resolutely in his empty chest. He feels dirty, tainted, at the thought that they'd had their filthy hands in there, tearing out a part of him. His despairing eyes keep flickering back to his skin, watching that soft glow. How could something like this happen to <em>him? <em>The Oncoming Storm, last of the time lords, felled by a woman and her dream world. Why couldn't it have been real? OK, so he hadn't been having the best of lives in the virtual reality but anything was better than this. Anything was better than being a battery for a criminal's empire.

The most crushing knowledge of all is the fact that he had been responsible for keeping Amy captive, that he had provided them with the power necessary to manipulate and control the flesh, _that it was all his fault!_ As he continues to watch his partial regeneration take place, watch the golden particles flicker and vanish into whatever is being used to draw them away, the Doctor finally knows true anguish.

He is sure of one thing; either he can allow this power drain to continue until he has no more left to give or he can wrench himself free and darn the consequences. The choice would be easy if it weren't for the lingering regret that he knows he would never get the chance to tell Amy what she truly meant to him.


	26. Dreaming of The Dead

**Howdey all! These next few chapters are gonna be from Amy and Rory's perspectives, following them as they try to unravel the mystery of what happened to the Doctor. I hope you like and I'd really appreciate it if you could review - your support means a lot!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"Amy," Rory sighs as he watches his wife stand in the field with her arms folded, staring at the sky in grim-faced determination. "Face it; he's not coming."<p>

"Of course he'll come!" Amy snaps. "He's the Doctor; he always come!"

"I think he wanted us to believe he was dead for a reason. Amy, please, we've tried this like 10 times already! Just call it a day will you?"

"No, Rory!" The red head whirls to glare at her husband, eyes dark. "It worked the last time; he was here within minutes! Maybe he's just, I dunno, late or something."

"Or dead for real." Rory mutters under his breath as he surveys their rather crooked attempt at a proper crop circle, the fifth try they'd made in this field.

"Don't say that! He can't be dead! He just can't be!"

"OK, Amy. He's not dead. But can we please just go home? It's getting late..."

Huffing in annoyance, Amy shoots a death glare at the sinking sun as if it had personally affronted her. "Fine. But tomorrow, we're contacting River! He's not avoiding me forever!"

Rory sighs but offers no protests. Marbe River will be able to draw Amy out of this rut she's firmly jammed herself into. He just wants his wife back, not this woman deluding herself with dreams of the dead.


	27. Death Itself Was Undone

**Today's second chapter - hope to get a few more up seeing as it's the last day of my holiday ): After this, it's no more holidays until December but at least I've still got the weekends (thank god!)**

**Pretty please review!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>True to her word, Amy calls River the very next day, all but demanding that she help them find the Doctor. From where he stands in the kitchen, Rory can hear River's apologetic voice on the loudspeaker insisting she had no idea where the time lord is, that the last place he was known have been at was the crypt of Dorium and after that trail grew cold. Amy refuses to believe this, all but howling down the phone at their daughter before breaking down into sobs, tears streaming down her cheeks.<p>

"He can't be gone, River! He can't just have disappeared!"

Rory wants nothing more than to go over and take Amy into his arms there and then but knows he would simply be shrugged off for the woman refuses to rest until they've found their errant friend. River's next words make him look up in shock and...dare it be hope?

"There's...there's been reports of time energy being given off in a forest near Leadworth." River says slowly. "The sort of energy given off by the TARDIS. It could just be a false lead of course but...but it's better than nothing, right?"

Rory doesn't know if River's said that simply to get Amy of her back but either way, he isn't liking the expression creeping steadily onto his wife's face.

"Thank you, River! You're an absolute lifesaver! Can you send me the co-ordinates?"

Great, co-ordinates. To Rory that means only one thing and that thing is him trekking around with a map, trying to make sense of the confusing lines whilst Amy urges him to hurry up. He groans quietly under his breath.

"Right, got that! Thanks again!" Amy hangs up before turning excitedly to Rory, eyes ablaze with determination. "Right you, come on! We're doing a bit of DIY orientation!"

Rory tries not to sigh.

Several hours, a few wrong turns and one rain storm later, Rory has all but had it with Amy's obsession with finding the Doctor. Obviously the man doesn't want to be found; can't she just let sleeping (or hiding) time lords lie? Apparently not, for the red head suddenly clutches Rory's arm, pointing at something between the trees.

"I told you we'd find him," she whispers and Rory realises that the blue thing he's staring at is the TARDIS.


	28. Calling Like A Crow

**Gah, tomorrow's looming ever closer! I don't know where my holiday's went! Anyway, here is today's third and final update; it'll probably be back to the one chapter a day until Friday at the earliest. **

**I'd really appreciate it if you could review; your words mean a lot **

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"Doctor! <em>Doctor!"<em>

Furiously, Amy hammers on the doors of the TARDIS, bouncing up and down in impatience before bounding over to Rory and all but shaking him by the shoulders.

"Why won't he answer?" she demands, sounding for a few seconds like a petualant child, a clear sign that the Doctor's rather immature nature was rubbing off on her. Rory shrugs.

"Maybe he's away out?" he suggests lamely just as Amy tries the door handle and finds, to her surprise and annoyance, that the ship on which she had been pounding her fists down to the bone on was in fact open. Wide eyed, she gazes at her husband before stepping inside, looking around warily into the icy darkness.

"Doctor? Doctor, are you here?"

Rory enters behind her, letting out a low whistle at the state the TARDIS is in. "I hate to break it to you but this place looks abandoned. I don't think anybody's been in here for _years._" To prove his point, he moves over to the centre console and runs a finger along it, raising clouds of dust that make them cough. "See?"

"But he wouldn't just abandon the TARDIS," Amy points out. "You know how much he loves it. What if...what if something's happened to him, Rory?"

"I'm sure he's..." Rory begins but before he can continue, there is a burst of light from behind them and they spin to see a holographic version of the Doctor standing before them, expression neutral. Unconsciously, the pair reach for each other's hands.

"This is security protocol 391." the hologram states calmly.

"What's security protocol 391 when it's whistling?" Amy hisses, clutching on tightly to Rory.

"Ask him...it." he replies with another shrug. Whatever it is, he doesn't like the sound of it.


	29. A Body In The Garden

**Howdey all! I must say, it's the first day back after a holiday that always kills you! I'm wiped out! (though it might have something to do that I got something like 6 hours sleep last night :D ) I might get more chapters uploaded tonight - it depends. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one!**

**Don't be a stranger! Review! (I'll give you lots and lots of hugs! =D)**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"Security protocol 391," the not-Doctor says tonelessly. "If you are hearing this message then either myself or the TARDIS has been compromised and we are currently spiraling into mortal peril. You have two options; Fix the problem or run screaming for your lives."<p>

With that, the hologram fades out and Amy begins to giggle, quietly at first but steadily growing louder until she descends into hysterics, clutching at Rory for support.

"Oh god..." she whispers softly. "It's true, isn't it? He really _is _gone!" Now she begins to cry and Rory can do nothing other than hold her, unable to say what she wants to hear because he knows that nothing is ever going to be alright for Amelia Pond until she finds her raggedy doctor. Suddenly, a gasp escapes his lips; he pushes Amy away from himself and spins her round, pointing wordlessly at the console where a soft golden glow grows brighter. The pair step forward in wonder and hope as a moniter switches on, a single sentence flashing upon the display:

_Demons run when a good man goes to war._


	30. No More Dreaming Like A Girl

**Heya guys, how's it going? I think the teachers here are trying to wipe us all out! (or keep us docile; who knows? ;D) A critical essay, two chemistry tests and a biology test and god knows what else is to come! But I'm going to stick to my promise of at least one update a day, you can count on it! They may try and cage me but they'll never take my online freedom! (*holds spear aloft whilst standing in a heroic position, arranges features into noble expression*) Yeah...I'm a bit overly dramatic (: We're going to be going back to the Doctor's POV soon (maybe next chapter) - hope you're all enjoying where this is going!**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Reviews equal a happy author and a happy author equals more daily updates! (:**

**XXX Raven**

**PS, A big thank you to OctoberWolf who has reviewed almost every chapter! Just to say, you ROCK!**

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><p>"Why is it saying that?" Amy whispers, her eyes wide in awe. "What does it mean? Why is it telling us the first line of River's poem?"<p>

"Not it, she." Rory corrects softly, understanding exactly who is behind this. Clearing his throat, he takes a step forward, lifting his head up to gaze directly at the TARDIS console. "Idris?" he asks. "It is Idris, right?"

Amy opens her mouth to ask him what he is doing but he quickly silences her, raising a finger to her lips.

"Idris?" he repeats. "Idris, are you there?"

This time, there is a flash of gold and somewhere within the depths of the TARDIS, something hums. It's like a switch is flicked; the entire room lights up, steam twisting and curling out of vents, various buttons flashing brightly. At the very centre of the TARDIS, the time rotor began to whirr; all around them the space ship sprung to life as it started up, catapulting them into the time vortex. Rory began to laugh, prompting a strange look from Amy.

"Remember what the Doctor said Idris told him?" he shouts over the noise of the TARDIS flying itself. "She doesn't take you where you want to go; she takes you where you need to go!"


	31. So In Love With The Wrong World

**Heya guys! Probably going to get a fair few chapters uploaded today! WOO! This one's from the Doctor's POV; I think the next one will have River in it (maybe from her POV?) I hope you like it!**

**Just wanna say to all the lovely reviewers; I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Eclectic57: Hi; glad to have a new reviewer! About your question concerning Amy and the Doctor - I really can't answer that because for starters, it might spoil the story and for seconds, this story is constantly changing as I write it so the answer today might be totally different from tomorrow's! PS, cool name - eclectic is an awesome word!**

**To all my readers; please review! It means an a lot!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>The Doctor sits in the corner of what has become his new cell, curled up tightly against the wall. When it comes down to things, Kovarian is actually a decent warden, having freed him from his restraints and placed him in here, though the tubes and wires still remain. But that, as Kovarian puts it, is more for his own benefit than hers for if she were to remove them, he would most likely die from the trauma it would inflict.. Here, he's supplied with three meals a day, a proper bed and whatever form of entertainment he wishes for. It's a cozy existence, one that he might even have enjoyed were it not for the sense of crushing despair he felt daily. Because the fact still remains that he is a prisoner.<p>

The Doctor stares at one tube in particular; the large red one that curls into his chest, the one around which regeneration energy sparkles like the stars. Rip that one out and he could escape. Rip that one out and he would be free. Almost tentatively, he wraps his fingers around it, biting his lip in hesitation before pulling. And then he found out just what Kovarian had meant by 'the shock will probably kill you' because he has never felt pain like this in his many lives and that's saying something, especially when he notices that he's barely shifted the tubing a centimetre from his skin. God, what would it be like if he were to pull it all the way out?

With a choked sob, he puts his head in his hands and cries, cries for all that he has lost and all that he has become. It strikes him that he is scared, properly scared for the first time he can remember. No, scrap that. He's not scared; he's _terrified._


	32. Hear The Thunder

**Howdey all! As promised, another chapter and there will be more to follow! Greetings to WelcomeToLondon, glad you're enjoying the story and as requested a new chapter! **

**This one is from River's POV - Hope you all enjoy!**

**Lurking is creepy! Why not join the party and review! (there'll be hugs and balloons! :D)**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>River Song stands in her cell in the Stormcage, gazing at the mobile she clasps between her hands, mentally debating on whether to call Amy back. She wonders if they found the Doctor, if that signal she had received had been from the TARDIS or if it was just interference from another ship. She sincerely hopes it was the TARDIS; life just isn't the same without the bumbling clumsy child-like time lord. As she sighs and rests her arms on the window sill, a sound makes itself audible to River's ears and she straightens up in confusion, barely able to believe what she is hearing. The distant thrum of a time rotor, the fluctuating whirr of engines moving through the vortex, the tornado winds whipping the room up into a state. And at the centre of all this chaos, a familiar blue box materialising, light flashing almost in greeting.<p>

A sarcastic comment is already on River's lips about flying with the breaks on when the doors open. It quickly dies as she sees who emerges.

"_Amy?" _

The redhead looks equally as surprised, her husband peering out curiously over her shoulder.

"River?" he asks. "But I thought she was taking us to the Doctor?" This last question is directed towards Amy who simply shrugs.

"Idris takes you where you need to be, your words." she says. "So obviously, she thinks we need River."

River looks in bewilderment, not understanding a word of what they're saying.

"I'm sorry, but who's Idris? And what are you doing here; where's the Doctor?"

"Question of the moment." Amy sighs. "We found the TARDIS though!" she adds brightly and River rolls her eyes.

"Yes, thank you Captain Obvious. Now, who's Idris?"

"The Doctor didn't tell you?"

River shakes her head, curls bouncing. "No; is she someone important?"

"Very. River; Idris. Idris; River."

At first the youngest Pond doesn't understand what Amy is meaning when she points at the TARDIS but then it clicks.

"Oh!"

"I'd have thought you'd have known, considering she was the one who taught you how to fly! Now come on, in!" Amy orders, pushing Rory back into the TARDIS and beckoning for River to do the same..

"What? But where are we going?" she demands, causing Amy to huff in exasperation and physically drag her inside.

"To rescue our raggedy doctor." the redhead declares and her tone is filled with with a grim confidence.


	33. See The Lightning Crack

**Third chapter today! Woo! This one's a little short (more of a proper drabble) but is necessary to move the story on. I hope you all like it and please be kind enough to review! Your thoughts mean a lot!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Holding on for grim life, Amy, Rory and River huddle around the console of the TARDIS as it catapults through the time vortex, taking them to hopefully where the Doctor is. The time ship buckles and twists beneath them, spinning wildly and seemingly out of control.<p>

"Hold on, Doctor. We're coming." Amy whispers.

And in a room in the space station Demon's Run, the time lord known as the Doctor looks up in wonder and tentative hope as an achingly recognisable but completely impossible sound rings out.

_They come back. They always come back._


	34. All Around The World Was Waking

**Another short chapter today :/ Just wanna say thank you for all your lovely reviews - virtual cookies and hugs for you all!**

**Please keep on reviewing!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Stumbling out of the TARDIS, Amy looks around in shock, immediately recognising her surroundings, a gasp escaping her lips.<p>

"Oh _no._" she whispers as River and Rory appear behind her, her husband letting out a string of swear words as he too realises where they are.

"But this is..."

"Yes, Rory. Do you think I didn't notice?" Amy snaps, taking a tentative step forward. "But what would he be doing _here? _I thought this place was abandoned?"

Suddenly all three of them turn in shock as the sound of clicking high heels rings out, eyes widening in surprise.

"Ah, the Ponds! Now we have the full set!" declares the woman of Amy's nightmares.


	35. Regrets Collect Like Old Friends

**Howdey all! We've reached the 50 review mark - WOO! A special thank you and lots of hugs for every wonderful reviewer! Just spent the last 10 minutes sorting out the folder for In The Shadow of Your Heart, due to the fact that I was having some minor difficulties in locating the previous chapter which was rather embarrassing... But fortunately, it is now in some semblance of order, meaning I can actually _find _what I'm looking for! (:**

**No Doctor in this chapter but fear not for he's coming! But in the meantime, Kovarian's got another nasty little surprise up her sleeve...**

**Enjoy!**

**Come into the body of the kirk! Spread the love and REVIEW! **

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"Kovarian," Amy snarls, looking like she'd like nothing better than to leap over and throttle the woman with her bare hands.<p>

"My darling Amelia," Kovarian acknowledges with a smirk. "And the beautiful Melody too! Only you go by the name River now, don't you dear? Tell me, how did it feel when you killed him? How did it feel when you watched the light drain from his eyes?"

A low growl escapes River's lips and she takes a step forward but Rory lays a restraining hand on her arm, silently warning her with his eyes. "He's not dead!" she hisses angrily, fingers itching towards her gun. "I never killed him; I hit the teselecta!"

"Dear, I wasn't talking about Lake Silencio!" Kovarian laughs. "I was talking about the time _before_, when you were the strong impassive killer, not this weak little creature held back by your emotions!" Kovarian looks River up and down with a slight sneer. "So what was it like, to kill him in Berlin? I know you enjoyed it..."

"Shut up! Just _shut up!" _River screams and draws out her gun in one fluid movement, cocking and aiming it at Kovarian's face smoothly. "Give me one reason _not _to kill you!"

The woman with the eyepatch smiles as she approaches a small chiller set into the wall and pulls a bottle out an appreciative smack of her lips, producing a glass seemingly out of nowhere and filling it with the crimson liquid.

"Do you know what this is, Miss Song?" she asks, ignoring the question as she swirls the liquid around so that it catches the light before taking a delicate sip. "It has wonderful rejuvenative properties and makes for a brilliant healing tonic. One of the most valuable liquids aboard this station, due to the rarity of its source." Watched in wide eyed shock, she downs the glassful in one swallow. "Time lord blood and I have the only supply in the entire known _universe_."

"You complete and utter _bitch!" _This time it isn't River, it's Amy and for once, Rory isn't trying to calm her down, too busy glaring daggers of his own at Kovarian, knowing just what she meant by having 'the only supply'. Amy storms forward, hand already swinging through the air in a belter of a backhand slap but Kovarian merely ducks out the way, reaching out to grasp the redhead's wrist and giving her a shark-like grin.

"My dear, if you ever want to see your _raggedy doctor_ again and make it off this station alive, you won't do that. I'd like to see _you_ pilot this ship away from the quaser we are currently heading towards!"


	36. Relive Your Darkest Moments

**Heya all - tonight's second chapter! I hope to get a fair few up tomorrow; I'm in the middle of writing several chapters at the moment! Thank you all for the support you're showing for this story - I'm so glad you're all enjoying it!**

**Your thoughts mean a lot to me; please share them and review!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"A quasar?" Amy wrenches her arm free of Kovarian's grip with a growl, cradling it close to her chest as if she had been poisoned. "What's a quasar when it's whistling?"<p>

Kovarian giggles, actually giggles like a seven year old, and totters back to her drinks cooler, topping up her glass with a different liquid. "Think more roaring jets of gas blasting into the ether, not mere whistling, dear. A glowing spinning quasi-stellar object feeding off the power of a supermassive black hole, emitting a powerful magnetic field, ready to suck us all in and destroy us! We're heading to hell in a handbasket and you''ll all powerless to stop us!" Here, she pauses to take a mouthful of wine, pursing her lips in consideration before making a face and spitting the wine out, pouring the rest down what looked like a drainage vent. "Disgusting; the Sinominians never could get the hang of fermentation. What do you think?"

She holds up another bottle for their inspection, raising a questioning eyebrow that was quickly joined by the other when River lets out a hiss of frustration and calmly puts a bullet through the glass.

"Really, Melody. You do have some anger management issues; that was 17th century French wine! Worth an utter fortune on Earth!"

"Listen, you cow! I don't give a damn about you or your supposedly priceless wines! Where. Is. The. Doctor?" River's eyes are furious orbs promising a bleak and undeniably short future, her gun held unwavering in front of her.

"You wouldn't be so desperate to rescue him if you knew what your darling Doctor has done, _River. _That is the man who provides this station with power. That is the man who is sending us all to our deaths! That is the man who helped to keep Amy captive and steal you from her!"


	37. Ghouls Come Out To Play

**And I bring the third chapter of this night! I would have had it up sooner but I was sitting watching Paranormal Activity 2 (with all the lights off :D)**

**Anyway, hope ya all enjoy, there should most definitely be more chapters up tomorrow and please review!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Kovarian laughs at their shocked expressions, twisting on her heel to walk over to a wall and press a button, causing a shutter to lift and reveal a window overlooking the icy depths of space and a gyroscopic explosion of light and colour hanging ethereally before them, beautiful to observe yet undeniably deadly. "May I present to you Cygnus X-1, one of only four quasars known to mankind. They are quite spectacular, aren't they? I saw my first quasar as a young girl whilst my people were fleeing the burning remnants of my home planet. Nine years old and I had already witnessed so much death and destruction yet that day was one of the most pivotal moments in my life for it is the day that lead me to this point. You're awfully quiet; am I boring you?" Kovarian smiles innocently at them, looking for a moment like a friendly grandmother before turning back into the old hag that has caused them so much suffering. "Or is it the revelations about your holier-than-thou time lord? They don't call him the Oncoming Storm, destroyer of worlds, for nothing, you know..."<p>

''The Doctor wouldn't do that; he wouldn't do any of what you said he did." Amy says slowly, her voice gradually growing in confidence. "He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I know he wouldn't."

"And how do you know that, Amelia? How can you trust a man who broke your faith, who took your belief in him and crumbled it between his fingers? _How can you trust him?_" She turns away and closes the shutter, resting a hand lightly against the metal before facing Amy once more. "Shall I show you something, Miss Pond? Shall I show you the heart of a time lord? Come with me, dear! I won't hurt you"

Without waiting for an answer, Kovarian grasps Amy's wrist and begins to drag her through the twisting maze of Demon's Run, ignoring the protests she receives.

"Oi! Let her go!" Rory exclaims, hurrying after the retreating figures, closely followed by River. All their tormentor does is roll her eyes and sigh.

"Oh, do shut up, Williams. You're such a bore; the fun is only just starting!" With that, she shoves Amy ahead of her into a familiar room and raises her hands like an artist showcasing their masterpiece. "I'm sure you recognise your prison, Amy. Only now, it's an engine, a generater of sorts. The most magnificent of my creations; Demon's Run's organic powerhouse!"

The three Ponds stare in awe at the mass of pipes and wires rising from the centre of the room, at the whirring gears and pistons, the quiet background hum of energy being created. And in the centre of it all, a large cylinder filled with fluid and giving off a faint golden glow, a lump of flesh pulsing softly in the middle, wires feeding in and out as the muscle expands and contracts in time with the energy flow.

Bile rises in Amy's mouth when she realises what it is.


	38. Every Demon Wants His Flesh

**Heya, loving you all for your wonderful reviews! Next chapter should be in the Doctor's POV; we finally get to find out how our poor time lord is coping!**

**Please keep on reviewing; next chapter should be up soon! (:**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Amy huddles close to Rory unable to look any longer on the gruesome spectacle before them, her head buried in his shoulder as she silently cries. River stares in undisguised horror before turning her attention back to Kovarian, mouth twisted in livid sneer.<p>

"So that's what you did, is it?" she whispers, her voice all the more threatening because of its quiet calm. "It wasn't enough to nearly destroy our family; you had to go and butcher the most wonderful man I'll ever know? I should shoot you where you stand!"

"Do that and you'll just be signing the time lord's death warrent. You'll never find him, not before it's too late. Not that it matters anyway. We're all heading to our doom, the final encore before the dance of death with a black hole."

Kovarian sounds so certain but she forgets that one time lord heart still beats free.


	39. Keep Some Things To Myself

**Salut! As promised, this chapter is in the Doctor's POV. Hope ya all like it; please review!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Unknown to Kovarian, the time lord she thought of as her captive was anything but. Over the last few days or weeks or however long he has been stuck in this room for, the Doctor has been busy. His body may be imprisoned but his mind is anything but and he has been putting it to good use, working on freeing himself from the machine keeping him in place. Biting his lip, the time lord surveys the result of hours of hard work, the product of missed sleep and bloodied hands and suffering, the salvaged remains of torn apart circuit boards and routers and wiring, jumbled together into one machine. It's bulky, it's cumbersome but it works and that's all that matters. Bracing himself against the walls, the Doctor pulls and slowly, steadily, his creation slides out on makeshift wheels, metal shrieking noisily Finally, with a relieved breath, the Doctor collapses back onto the floor, panting heavily as he stares happily at what amounts to a life-support machine of sorts.<p>

Now all he has to do is disconnect it from the mainframe.


	40. Keep My Issues Strong

**Heya folks, third chapter today! **

**I forget to mention this in chapter 37 but greetings to Daydreamer2010 who has joined the reviewers! Thank you ALL for your reviews and please keep them coming!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Slow, deep breaths, Staring at the cuboid bundle of metal and wiring sitting innocently before him, Hyping himself up for the inevitable. The Doctor's hands are clammy as they take ahold of that single flimsy connection tethering his device to the wall, that one section of cable that for all he knows could be the one thing keeping him alive. This is it. Now or never. He can either take a risk and darn the consequences or just sit tight, safe in the knowledge that whatever Kovarian does with her stolen energy will be his fault. Sit tight and know that he'll never see Amy's beautiful face again, never touch that glorious red hair or watch her wonderful smile sneak onto her face when she thinks no one is looking. Because he knows now. He knows for certain that it is not just jumbled feelings or some sort of strong friendship. He <em>loves <em>Amelia Pond and he's going to do this for her.

With that thought in his head, the Doctor takes that one last cable and severs it, no longer afraid of what could happen.


	41. Darkest Before The Dawn

**And this is the fourth chapter today! I'm on a proper roll! Enjoy; I love you all for your reviews! Hugs and cookies for you all!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Kovarian is strolling somewhere within the depths of the engine room, leaving the three Ponds huddled together, eyes still fixated on that beating heart.<p>

"What sort of twisted pyschopath does that?" Amy asks hollowly. "What sort of person cuts out a time lord's heart and bloody well sticks it in an engine!"

"Keep your voice down, Amy!" Rory hisses, wrapping a hesitant arm around the red head's shoulders. "She might come back again!"

Throughout this all, River is silent, one hand stroking almost tenderly down the barrel of her gun, but now she speaks up and it's with the calm logic of a trained soldier.

"What's our plan then? We're being sent hurtling towards a quasar by a maniac who has a ship powered by a heart, we have a possibly dead time lord and the TARDIS is at the other end of the station, too far away to be off any use. Any ideas?"

But before anyone can suggest anything, there is a soft fizz then muffled clunks, one by one the strip lights up above switching off until the only illumination left is the gentle golden glow from the heart cylinder. From amongst the massive sprawl of pipes comes Kovarian's shriek, "ENAWIN!"

An odd goblin-like man charges past where the Ponds stand and disappears into the shadows, holding a hurried conversation with his employer before running back out purposefully, closely followed by Kovarian herself, the woman for once looking worried as she sprints down a corrider. They all hear her scream.

"Where has he _went?_"


	42. I've Been A Fool

**Fifth (and last ): ) update of today; don't know if I'll have as many up tomorrow seeing as it's Monday and Halloween and all! I discovered a lovely song today - Army of Angels by Nedeshda Brennicke. I heard it at the end of the film Case 39 and fell in love with it. While we're on songs, can I also recommend listening to Galaxies by Owl City - it's brilliant!**

**Please keep on reviewing; hugs for you all! (:**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Darkness. All around. The Doctor blinks once, twice, and stirs with a soft moan, aching all over as if he has just been electrocuted. Still alive, he notes, which makes for a pleasant discovery. Only, this state he's in at the moment; it's not going to last long. The shock of disconnection has damaged his remaining heart, speeding up the regeneration process, and there's only so much energy this little life support system of his can take before it, or he himself, blows. He doesn't have much time but he's going to make the most of it. This time, Kovarian won't make it away. Gritting his teeth, he lugs his machine behind him like Sisyphus with his rock through the corridors of Demon's Run, ready to face his adversary once and for all.<p>

The Doctor knows he's been a fool in the past and he knows he's made mistakes but now he says no more. This will be the end.


	43. I've Been Blind

**Howdey and a very happy All Hallow's Eve! Dressed up as a vampire pirate tonight - random, I know, but I have a love of fancy dress! ;) That lovely moment when you realise the manufacturers weren't joking when they said the fake blood stains... Red marks all over my face and neck! (:**

**Hi to Platypus With A Fez and JustCourage - welcome to the reviewers club! (PS, awesome pen names!)**

**Just wanna say another heartfelt thank you to _all _my reviewers - love ya all so much and please keep on telling me your thoughts!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"How could I be so <em>stupid?" <em>Kovarian demands, more to herself than to her goblin servant as she surveys the tangle of sparking wires and circuits left bare in the rent in the wall. "Locking a time lord in a room with access to the mainframe; a mistake only an idiot would make! I blinded myself with my own arrogance!"

With fists shaking with contained fury, she turns to Enawin, the man trembling beneath her furious gaze.

"Find him!" she snaps, clicking her fingers and making a shooing motion. "He can't have gone far, not when he's dragging that amount of metal behind him! Go!"

As the man jumps to attention and makes to hurry from the cell, she stops him with a sugar sweet smile. "Oh, and Enawin, dear? This time, don't bother bringing him back. This ends tonight; kill him."


	44. Leave The Past Behind

**Heya guys, typed this one up in computing and am uploading it in chemistry so sorry for it being rather short! (: Also, apologies for any mistakes! I'm sort of keeping an eye out for any approaching teachers! (; **

**JustCourage - Your Halloween sounds awesome!**

**I haven't got much time for an author's note so bye for now, everybody! Please keep all your wonderful reviews coming, and I should have another chapter up later today!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Every step is absolute agony, every breath like rasping sandpaper across his throat but the Doctor forces himself onwards, biting his lip to prevent screams from erupting out of his parched mouth. In his chest, his single remaining heart beats worryingly fast, every contraction of the tired muscle reverbrating with a fading wheeze. He's definitely dying; there is no denying it. But if he can make it to where he knows the control room is then it won't matter. All he needs to do is stop Kovarian and her soul-destroying madness, prevent her from doing anymore damage to the ones he loves.<p>

This time, he's ready to move on.


	45. I Can See No Way

**Yup, as promised, the second chapter of today! And this time, I typed this up at home, not in the middle of class! ;) **

**Just bought Florence + The Machine's album, Ceremonials, today - £4 from Amazon (: It's brilliant - I love the song Spectrum!**

**Happy first day of NaNoWriMo everybody! **

**Please keep on reviewing! Reviews are the nectar on which an author feasts!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>The Doctor reaches the control room with only moments to spare, heaving the door shut and slamming the deadbolt just as Enawin rounds the corner, screaming out in fury. The goblin man charges into the metal, pounding his fists against it in frustration before stalking back down the corrider, muttering obscenities. The time lord knows it won't be long before the servant is back, most likely with a large gun of some sorts, ready to blast the door to kingdom come, but by the time he makes it back, it will be too late. What the Doctor plans to do takes only seconds.<p>

Smiling almost sadly to himself, the Doctor flicks a switch marked 'Broadcast' and delicately raises a small comm system to his lips, eyes empty as he stares out of the curving floor length window at what he knows is a quasar.

"Kovarian," he says, hearing his voice echo all over the station. "You think yourself so clever but you made the worst mistake possible; you left a captive time lord unsupervised. But, I suppose you already know that. And, I suppose you alreadt know what I'm going to do." He pauses, allowing the meaning of his words time to sink in as he continues to gaze at the luminous explosion of gas and matter hanging like a Christmas bauble in space. "Cygnus X-1, yes? Close enough now for the only thing to be keeping us from its depths is the engine. Beautiful, deadly...A fitting end for a psychopath such as yourself and the worst murderer known to the universe, eh? So, no hard feelings when I do this."

And without so much as second thought, he rested his finger on the emergency shut-down button and carefully, gently, depressed it, thus cutting off the last of the station's back-up power.

Demon's Run, now officially decommisioned.


	46. All Of These Questions

**This is fast becoming a habit of uploading during school, though I at the very least typed this up during break! (: Might get another up later!**

**OctoberWolf: Yeah, I'm taking part in NaNoWriMo though I'm going to continue sticking to my chapter a day promise! What about you? Oh, and I don't _think _I'm going to kill the Doctor at this moment so for the time being, the future is still looking vaguely bright! (: **

**Enjoy and please review!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"What was that?" Amy asks softly, peering round the darkened engine room as something crackles overhead. So far, there has been no sign of Kovarian, the woman still not having reappeared from wherever she had ran to, though they had heard her livid screams towards Enawin. There is a gentle beep and up above, a small green light begins to pulse softly beside what looks like a speaker. Another crackle and a noise like gentle breathing. The Ponds look at each other.<p>

"Oh god..." Amy's knees go weak as that familiar voice echoes over the comm system, calmly talking to Kovarian. "He's still alive; oh thank god!"

And as the power goes off and they begin the fatal spiral towards Cygnus X-1, Amy Pond finds that she doesn't care that this could be her possible death. She doesn't care because she's finally reunited with her raggedy doctor. She doesn't care because Amy Pond finally knows the truth about her feelings.


	47. Such A Mournful Sound

**Howdey guys - another chapter here for your enjoyment! I've had Ceremonials stuck on replay - it's brilliant and I especially love Never Let Me Go, which the end of, rather randomly, sounds like the whoosh of the TARDIS (: (I started laughing when I first heard it!)**

**71 reviews - Wow! Can I just say that you guys are amazing! Hugs and cookies for you all!**

**Please keep on reviewing!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>As the Doctor's voice echoes around the station, Rory feels a swell of sadness and dare it be disappointment, strangely angered that the time lord is still alive because of what it means for him, Rory. He immediately feels disgusted with himself for thinking such thoughts. He's a nurse for pete's sake; he's supposed to preserve lives! But still, he can't prevent a solitary tear from escaping and trickling down his cheek as he watches the joy cross Amy's face, the red head's eyes welling up in happiness as she listens to her raggedy doctor's voice, lost in bliss despite knowing that what the time lord is about to do will send them all to their deaths.<p>

In that moment, Rory Williams knows he hasn't lost Amy. He knows he hasn't lost her because she was never truly his in the first place.


	48. Done With My Graceless Heart

**Today's third chapter and Kovarian's past is finally revealed! (Take that, Moffat!) I'm looking forward to writing the reunion scenes between the Doctor and the Ponds, even if they are going to be in the middle of a crisis and tinged with tragedy! (but I'm not saying what kind of tragedy (; )**

**Hope ya all like this and please review! (I love all you reviewers so much!)**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>With a sigh, the Doctor slumps down into a nearby seat, steepling his fingers together as he stares out desolately at the quasar, watching it creep ever closer, feeling the shudders going through the station as the black hole's gravity slowly but steadily draws them in. A sudden hiss passes his lips and he doubles over, knuckles white through his skin as he clenches his fists in an attempt to keep the pain at bay. Dear god...this is getting worse, accelarating without the back-up from the mainframe to keep it in check. Look on the bright side, he tells himself. It'll all be over soon. He looks up dully as the door is abruptly thrown open, the electric lock no longer functioning, and a grinning Enawin enters, blaster in hand as expected. The goblin man raises his arm, preparing to shoot, but, surprisingly, a hand stops him, Kovarian entering behind him and cruelly shoving her servent to one side, gazing with narrow eyes at the Doctor.<p>

"Smart man," she whispers, folding her arms and tilting her head to one side as if studying a specimen at a zoo. "You've always been a source of fascination for me. The man who keeps on running, never looking back for fear his past might catch up with him. The man who I thought felt no guilt and pain for what he has done, the god above us all. But I learnt otherwise when I watched you in the dreamworld, when I watched the suffering you inflicted upon yourself near daily. And you know what,Doctor? It made me feel slightly better to know that you felt remorse, it made me feel better to watch you torture yourself though no amount of pain and begging can ever bring my home planet back! Hosolomon! Do you remember it, Doctor? Do you remember the planet that you allowed to burn?"

Her face has taken on an expression of anguish, her eyes furious spitting orbs as she steps closer, shaking her head slowly.

"You promised me, Doctor. You promised me that you'd keep us safe! Do you remember that? Can you remember rescuing a small 8 year old girl from the lava streams consuming her house and telling her you'd do everything to help? Can you even remember my name?"

Throughout Kovarian's rant, the Doctor had slowly paled in shock and now he turnsto look at her in a new light, tears sparkling in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry." he says regretfully. "I tried, I really did, but it was too late. Hosolomon's core was under too much pressure; it was literally tearing itself apart! There was nothing I could have done! I'm sorry, Felonia."

Kovarian takes a step backwards like she's been punched in the chest, mouth flying open.

"You...you remember my name." She looks shocked, as if she no longer knows what to do but then her expression hardens. "I'd like to say I could forgive you but I can't. I was _8 _and you left me! You abandoned me at one of the shuttle ports and _left_ and for that, you're going to just keep on suffering! And what's more, it will all be of your own doing!"

She leans even closer, until her lips are almost brushing the Doctor's ear. "Shall I let you in on a little secret, Doctor, since you've seen fit to send us all hurtling towards a quasar, not that it wasn't already of course. But anyway, a secret, Doctor. Would you like to know?"

Slowly, he nods, apprehensive as to what bombshell she is going to drop now. "Tell me."

"She's here, Doctor. She came looking for you, determined to save her 'raggedy doctor'! Amelia Pond is here and you just secured her death warrant!"


	49. I'm Gonna Cut It Out

**Heya guys, sorry to report that this is probably gonna be the only update of today but hopefully it's a good one!**

**Can I just say, 78 reviews...I'm lost for words; you guys just astound me! Hello to Random Ruth and anonymous reviewers thefilmfreak and Lauren!**

**Please keep on reviewing - your thoughts mean a lot and are a motivation for writing this story!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>The Doctor simply stares at Kovarian with hollow eyes, expression unconvinced, before rolling his eyes, turning away to continue gazing out the window.<p>

"You're scared, Felonia." he murmurs. "You're just saying that; I can see right through you so why don't you just drop the pretence? After all, there's nothing else you can do to hurt me."

Kovarian laughs mirthlessly, moving away from the Doctor to prod half-heartedly at the station controls in the vague hope of bringing the power back online. "Oh believe me, Doctor, this time I'm not lying. Amelia really is something else; she, that interfering husband of hers and their traitorous she-devil of a daughter are in the engine room, admiring your heart. She really is something else, isn't she? A real fighter, determined to do what she feels is right. Kind of reminds me of myself." Kovarian's smile is tight lipped.

"Do you actually think about lying or does it just come naturally?"

"Do you want to see her, Doctor? I'll have Enawin fetch her if you like...?"

She makes to snap her fingers but before she can even lift her arm, a soft voice speaks from the doorway, hesitant and fearful and beautifully familiar.

"There's no need; I'm already here."

Amy Pond's eyes never leave those of her raggedy doctor's.


	50. Then Restart

**Very nearly didn't get this up in time - I've been busy working on a collaboration fic with another author! I apologise for the return to only one chapter a day but school and NaNoWriMo are keeping me busy! I thank you all for bearing with me! 83 reviews! I love you all, I really do!**

**Yo and UnderTheWeepingWillow, glad to hear from you both!**

**Thank you to all reviewers so much! Please keep your thoughts coming!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"Amy," the Doctor breathes sadly, slumping in his seat. "Oh, you silly girl! What did you come after me for?"<p>

Amy looks offended, drawing herself up to her full height and shaking her red hair away from her face. "You left us! You went away and left us without so much as a goodbye so we went looking for you and found the TARDIS! She brought us here, to you! And, unfortunately, this bitch..." She looks Kovarian up and down with a curled lip, expression indicating that she would like nothing better than to lamp her one. Suddenly, she notices the cables trailing from the Doctor, staring at them in shock before looking at the time lord with horror-struck eyes.

"What has she done to you?" she whispers. "_What has she done to you?" _

Before the Doctor can so much as blink, Amy is charging over to Kovarian like she had previously and this time, not even the woman's almost freakishly quick reflexes can save her from the red head's powerful punch and she is sent sprawling to the floor, clutching her cheek in surprise.

"You'll regret that," Kovarian mutters but Amy takes no heed, instead rushing over to _her _Doctor and embracing him tightly, trying to ignore that lonely heartbeat she can hear in his chest, a painful reminder of what he had been put through.

"Oh god...I've missed you so much." she whispers. "And I'd love to tell you that everything's gonna be fine but I don't think it is!"

"You're bloody well right about that!"

Kovarian is on her feet, wiping away spittle from the corner of her mouth, pistol in hand. And it's pointing directly at Amy.


	51. Would I Take Any Back

**Howdy folks! How goes it in reality? Here, in my world of novel-writing, all goes pleasantly! Got a few ideas planned for this story yet - don't think it's gonna move along predictably from here!**

**Reviews are very much appreciated; huggles for you all!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"You and me are going to take a walk." Kovarian hisses softly, pistol unwavering. "You too, Doctor! On your feet! Remember, there are plenty of ways to cause non-fatal injuries with a gun. Do you want to hear her scream, Doctor? Do you want to see lovely little Amelia on the floor in a pool of blood, writhing in pain? No? Then, on your feet!"<p>

Amy has her hands in the air as she glances uncertainly at the Doctor, the time lord giving her what he hopes is a reassuring smile.

"It's alright." he whispers. "I won't let her shoot you; she'll have to kill me before she does."

Gritting his teeth, he pulls himself to his feet, hands immediately flying to his chest with a gasp, eyes widening with pain. "OK," he breathes. "That's most definitely not good." Even to himself, the humour sounds forced but it's either that or scream the roof off in his agony. In almost fascination, he pulls his hand away, studying the golden glow surrounding it with a childish wonder before holding it up for Amy's inspection, manical grin in place. "And that is even worse!"

Groaning softly, he leans down to tinker with his DIY life support machine, flicking it almost hopefully before giving up with a sigh. "Fine. Be like that. Where are we going by the way? Because I suggest you hurry up; I don't have long left."


	52. It's A Fine Romance

**Hola! Extra long chapter for you (well extra long by drabble standards (; )! I hope to get another chapter up today (yay!) after several days of only 1 chapter a day! Hope ya all enjoy this one - please review! They mean the world!**

**(NOTE: This chapter edited. I mispelt River in the first sentence as Rover! Thanks to OctoberWolf for pointing this out!)**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"I can't believe she just ran off like that!" Rory paces back and forth in the engine room, occasionally glancing over at River who is curiously studying the...OK, he has to say it, the <em>heart<em>. He appears to reconsider his earlier statement. "Well, actually I can believe she did that cause that's just Amy for you, isn't it? It seems to a be a recurring trait in this family." He says this with a meaningful glance at the blonde haired woman who is now attempting to pull one of the tubes free from the cylinder and examine its contents. With a grunt, River succeeds and it comes loose, spewing a clear sticky fluid everywhere.

"Urghh, that's disgusting...Did you seriously have to do that in front of me?"

"Shush, _dad_. I'm trying to find out what kept that beating..." River sticks her hand through the opening in the cylinder, face contorted in effort as she reaches for the now stilled heart. "Got it." she declares in satisfaction and squeezes, causing Rory to screw his eyes up in horror for rather than blood or some other bodily substance leaking out, the heart just...disintegrates, fragments slowly drifting downwards from River's now gunk coated hand. But she appears content with this...reaction to her touch, peering into the fluid in fascination.

"Look," she whispers softly, indicating for Rory to come over. "Do you see that?"

"Uh, golden sparkles?" Rory leans in closer, brow furrowed. "Looks kinda like the stuff you gave off when you regenerated or whatever the hell it was called."

"Exactly," River squats back on her haunches, running a hand through her hair. "This place is amazing; I've never seen anything like it in all my lives. It's, or rather, was powered by regeneration energy, the heart acting as a sort of organic...oh, I don't know, catalytic convertor? The energy was pumped through the heart which then converted it into a usable power source. This technology...it's beyond anything I've encountered."

"And you won't encounter it again, Melody. That technology was from my home planet, Hosolomon, which was destroyed when the creation of a nearby quasar caused its poles to reverse and quite literally rent the planet in two!"

Hastily, River wipes the heart goo from her palms and spins to see Kovarian and Amy, eyes widening in shock when she sees the pistol pressed up tightly against her mother's head. Her own gun is out in a flash but Kovarian simply wags a reproachful finger at her, a knowing smirk in place.

"I think I could shoot Amelia here faster than you could shoot me and if you even think as trying, I'm sure Enawin would be quiet happy to slit the throat of our old friend here."

At that statement, the goblin man appears, shoving a tattered figure in front who exclaims "OI! I can walk myself, thank you very much!"

River's hands fly to her mouth as she takes in the gaunt hollow appearance of the time lord before her, hating the dark bags beneath his dull eyes and how lank and lifeless his hair looks. Suddenly, the Doctor pitches forward, hands thrown forward to brace himself against the floor, an aureate cloud drifting out of his open mouth. "That was a nasty one," he says nervously before appearing to notice River and Rory, a crestfallen expression taking over his face.

"Oh, good lord, you're all here! Couldn't you just have left me to die? Now, I'm bloody well going to be responsible for killing all of you!"

"You, shut up!" Kovarian prods him in the side with her heel, still holding Amy close. "Now, Melody dear, I need your help with something. You see, I really don't want to be on this ship when it gets consumed by Cygnus-X1 but thanks to smart Alec here," She gives the Doctor another kick in the side. "There is no electricity to launch the escape ship. So you, my dear, are going to put your considerable talent to good use and divert some power from the back up generator in the station bridge down to the docking bay."

"And why on earth do you think I would do that?" River demands and Kovarian shrugs.

"Well, I was hoping you would agree without any threats being made but if that's the attitude you're going to take then I have no choice. Either you do as I ask or Amy and the Doctor die. Painfully."


	53. Left Me So Undone

**Yup, second chapter of today! Woo! Greetings to new reviewer, FilmFreak1234! Howdy!**

**Hope ya all enjoy this one; it's in River's POV this time! Please review; they're very much loved!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>River cries as Kovarian forces her to walk to the bridge, the tears flowing thick and fast. She doesn't want to do this but knows she has no choice for Kovarian isn't joking when she says she'll kill Amy and the Doctor and River will be damned if she lets that get onto her consciousness. So she cries, silently, wordlessly, and enters the bridge, closely followed by the others as she dances her fingers across controls that are like old friends to her. She had had it ruthlessly drummed into her, spending many a day in here having the inner workings of Demon's Run drilled into her very mind until she could pilot it in her sleep. This is child's play to River Song.<p>

Sobs hiccuping in her throat, she whirls to whisper an apology to the Doctor but stops short at what she sees, shaking her head slowly. Her time lord, leaning in close to Amy, whispering softly in her ear, one hand resting lightly on her arm.. And River looks at Rory and sees the resigned expression he wears and looks back at the Doctor and corrects herself. Not _her _time lord, _Amy's _time lord. It has been in front of her all along and she has never even noticed, never even considered the possibility that she was merely a substitute for the real thing.

_He never was mine, _she thinks with a pang, _I was only fooling myself. _And suddenly, River's anger is back, along with all her rage and she wants to scream at the heavens and break down and howl at how she's been played all along, a tool in a time lord's game, but she doesn't. Instead she does what the Doctor did with _her _and settles for second best. She'll help Kovarian. Even if it's the last thing she'll do.


	54. Damned If I Do

**Salut! Glad you all liked last chapter and now I bring you another from River's POV! Someone turned the heating all the way up in my house and despite turning off and opening the windows, it's still bloody sweltering! I'm seriously considering temporarily relocating outside, despite the fact it's only about 6 or 7 degrees out there! On a brighter note, I've reached 15,252 words on my NaNoWriMo novel! Woo! I am determined to finish it and reach 50k!**

**Thank you all for you wonderful reviews; please keep them coming! Huggles for you all!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Hardening her heart against the looks of horror she receives from her family, River wordlessly begins to reprogram the controls, silently seething inside. A tear slips past her defenses and she angrily wipes it away, hating this sudden show of weakness. He's all but betrayed her, goddamn it! Leaving her for her own <em>mother! <em>Kovarian's smug, self-satisfied smirk burns on her back as if the woman knows exactly what she's thinking but River forces herself to ignore it, her speedy fingers suddenly jerking to a stop as she feels a gentle yet tentative hand touch her arm, spinning furiously to see the Doctor standing before her, expression sorrowful.

"I'm sorry, darling, I'm so sorry." he whispers, taking her hands in her own. "I never should have married you, not when I was in love with another. I'm sorry, so so sorry."

He tails off and River finally sees how sick he truly looks, the agony hidden behind his mask he silently pleads with her not to do this and her previous rage dissapates instantly as she realises how sincere he really is. Suddenly torn, River turns uncertainly back to the panal, no longer knowing what to do. Does she continue on regardless and gain the payback she so justly deserves or does she listen to her heart and finally set the time lord free? Cause you know what they say. If you love them...Let them go.


	55. Damned If I Don't

**Yo! How's it going? Spent the day off today with tonsillitis ): but on the plus side, I managed to get more of my novel written!**

**Howdy, Rachy20089, nice to hear from you, and a fellow NaNoWriMo-er as well! Good luck with your novel!**

**OctoberWolf, in answer to your question concerning River's age, I'm not too sure myself! I suppose it's up to how the reader perceives her in this!**

**Love you all, you glorious readers and reviewers! Might have another chapter up tonight! **

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Slowly, River shakes her head and turns away from the control panel, eyes brimming with unshed tears.<p>

"I won't do it, Kovarian." she whispers. "I won't be your monster again! You and your little goblin pal can go and fry yourself; I won't help you!"

She walks away from the panal and over to Rory, wrenching Amy free of Kovarian's grip in the process before the woman can even react and pulling her mother close, the three Ponds staring defiantly at their opposers.

"Your reign's over." Amy says quietly. "Why don't you just accept that and let us go? Let _him _go!"

"No, I won't." answers Kovarian simply. "I'm fed up of always being dismissed as the crazy woman dreaming of a man who is a fake! I'm fed up of always being sidelined! And I'm going to be sidelined no more! It's my turn to be the most wanted killer in this universe! Goodbye, Doctor!"

And with that she points the gun at the time lord, finger pulling back on the trigger.


	56. Here's To The Drinks

**Second chapter of today! Woo! I'm finally clambering out of that one chapter a day rut! Once again, thank you all for your support! Please keep on reviewing!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>They'll never find out exactly what happens in those few fateful seconds in which Kovarian's finger rests upon the trigger. As she squeezes, everything just...blurs. There is shouting and panic and shoving and in the midst of it all, Kovarian stands with her gun unwavering, pointing directly at the Doctor's chest. Amy never sees what happens for, at the last second, she is bodily thrown to the ground by an unknown assailant, throwing her arms over her head to protect herself. Then she screams for a single shot rings out, filled with echoing finality.<p>

Resigned eyes widen slightly, a cracked voice whispers, "I'm sorry,". And a lifeless body crumples to the floor.


	57. End Of My Road

**OK and now for the reveal! Who _did _Kovarian shoot? Read on and find out; I'm not gonna risk giving it away with my rambling! I hope I've managed to keep this chapter as touching and sad as it should be.**

**100 reviews...Wow. _Wow! _You guys amaze me, you really do! Huggles for you all!**

**Hope this chapter lives up to expectations; please review and tell me your thoughts!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>River holds her mother as she cries, unable to look at the heart-wrenching scene before them whilst Kovarian stands motionless, mouth hanging open in shock. She quickly closes it and cackles.<p>

"How touching!" she sneers. "What a couple they make! The girl who always waited and the boy who always dies! Who's going to sacrifice themselves for you now, Doctor? Who?"

"You," Suddenly, River is on her feet and her gun is pressed against Kovarian's skull. "This ends now; there's no future for you here!"

"You wouldn't." Kovarian whispers, a smirk in place. "You're too _weak_, corrupted by reality! You don't have it in you!"

"Try me," River says, her expression emotionless, and pulls the trigger.

Blood and gray matter run down the wall.

Crouched on the floor, the Doctor pays no attention to this act of justified murder, instead speaking softly to the man he cradles gently.

"Don't you dare die on me, Rory! Don't you dare! What did you have to go and do that for?"

Rory smiles sadly, the blood bubbling up on his lips as he speaks. "It's alright Doctor, I've had my shot at life. Hell, I've lived longer than you have!" He winces suddenly, hand moving to the patch of crimson steadily growing on his chest.

"But what about Amy?" the Doctor presses, eyes swimming with tears. Rory chuckles faintly.

"She has you, Doctor. I've seen the way you look at each other; you don't have to deny it anymore! Just let me do this for you, for both of you!" He bows head, tears of his own cascading down his cheeks. "Promise me something, Doctor. Please."

"You're not going to die, Rory. Stop talking like that!" the time lord rebukes, earning himself another chuckle from the clearly dying man.

"Just promise me this one thing, Doctor."

"Anything."

"Take care of her for me?

"Always."

Content with this answer, Rory slumps backwards, eyelids fluttering weakly. "Oh, and Doctor?" he murmurs, feeling his heart begin to slow and the horrible pain fade until it is a mere dull ache. "One more thing; do not under any circumstances resuscitate me." He smiles one last time before his eyes close for good.

On the floor of the bridge of Demon's Run, Amy Pond and River Song hold each other as they sob. And in the Doctor's arms, Rory Williams, the Last Centurion, the boy who always ends up dying for a woman he loves enough to let go...dies.


	58. Ready To Suffer

**Heya dearies, sorry for taking so long in getting this chapter up today! On the plus side, it is fairly long so I hope you like it! Gah, feeling guilty now for killing off Rory but it was needed for the story to progress and also to remove another obstacle standing between Amy and the Doctor. Goodbye, Rory, may you rest in peace. In other news, 26,094 words of my novel written! Yay! Out of curiosity, who else is doing NaNoWriMo? How are your novels coming along?**

**Hello to new reviewer Red-Dragon-Thorn! It's brilliant to hear from you and I can I say thank you for the lovely compliment! (:**

**On that note, thank you to _all _of my reviewers; words alone cannot express how much your thoughts on this story mean! **

**Please keep on reviewing!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Wiping away tears, the Doctor gently lays down Rory's already cooling corpse, sliding the eyelids shut as he does so, still unable to believe that this man, this love rival of sorts, just sacrificed himself for a creature as unworthy of being saved as the time lord knows he really is. Sniffing softly, he turns to face River and Amy, trying to avoid glancing at Kovarian's corpse as he does so, feeling bile rise at the gaping hole where the woman's face should be. Sometimes, he wishes River wasn't so trigger-happy.<p>

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, looking directly at Amy. "I'm so so sorry; it shouldn't have been like this. That should have been me."

Amy shakes her head slowly and wipes away her tears, her gaze lingering on Rory. "No," she replies. "It was his choice and...and this time I'm gonna respect it. He...he died a hero. Never forget that."

The Doctor looks down almost guiltily, fingering one of the wires trailing from his chest. "I...I could bring him back." he says tentatively. "When...when I regenerate, it would be easy enough to redirect some of the energy from myself to Rory."

"No!" the red head rebukes sharply, eyes almost angry. "He said he didn't want to be brought back and for once, let's honour his wishes." Suddenly, the whole of the Doctor's sentence seems to sink in. "Hang on, did you say regenerate?"

Tightly, the Doctor nods, sucking in his cheeks as his entire body convulses, a haze of gold rising from his mouth. "Yeah," he gasps, hissing abruptly. "It's...it's starting now! I...I can't stop it!" His eyes are wide and horrorstruck, staring desperately at the two Ponds. "I don''t want to; I've barely gotten used to this body! Oh dear lord, make it stop!" Another breath of golden fog, a wave of agony that sends him crashing to the floor.. He's quickly joined by Amy and River as the entire station shudders, metal buckling and shrieking in protest.

"What was that?" Amy shouts over the din, hands cupped over her ears. "What's happening?"

"It's the quasar!" the time lord somehow manages to force out, gritting his teeth. "It's pulling us in! You came here in the TARDIS, right? Gotta get to her, gotta leave now..." There's another shudder; the ceiling crumples alarmingly. "OK, no time! Option 2! River, you said you can pilot this thing! If I...if I connect this wire here," He points at a loose cable which dangles uselessly from his DIY life support machine. "If I connect to the mainframe then we should have enough power to escape the quasar! On the downside..."

"On the downside, there's every chance you could die in the process." River supplies, clambering to her feet.

"It's the only way, trust me. Just let me do this, let me make up for everything I've done to you."

And before the blonde can so much as protest, he grasps the wire, rips open the circuit board and connects the two, groaning as he does so.

"Go! Go now!"


	59. Ready To Hope

**Howdy! Hope you're all still enjoying this so far; thank you all for the support you're all showing!**

**Please spread the love and review; it means a lot!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>All around them, Demon's Run bursts back into life, the engines' almighty thrum restarting in the background as the controls light up, blinking softly before them. The Doctor gives a gentle gasp and curls up in on himself, wrapping limbs that suddenly look skeletal around his thin malnourished frame.<p>

"River," he gasps, tears streaming from his eyes. "Now. There's only so much more I can give before I use all my reserves up! Please, River! You're the only one who can do this; please!" He suddenly screams, boy contorting and Amy rushes forward but he raises a trembling hand in warning.

"No! Too...dangerous!"

Pleadingly, Amy turns to River, looking ready to burst into tears at any second. "River...I can't lose him as well. Please."

River closes her eyes briefly before biting her lip and nodding, stepping forward shakily to grasp at the panal with a sweaty-palmed grip.

"Alright, kids," she murmurs. "Better fasten your secrets cause this is gonna be a bumpy ride!"


	60. It's A Shot In The Dark

**Yo! How goes life outside of NaNoWriMo? I'm still remembering my one chapter a day promise but other than that, fanfiction's sort of getting neglected! On the other hand, 33,121 words! Woo!**

**Howdy to Skim28, LilliumRyn and Anonymous! Glad you're all liking the story!**

**Please continue to review! I love you all for the support you're showing!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>The howling tempest that is the centre of the quasar yawns at them, sucking in the station with its grasping tentacles, buckling metal and rock with brute force. River whispers obscenities under her breath as she stuggles to pull Demon's Run out of it's fatal plummet, sparks of gold going off all around her. The Doctor offers her a reassuring smile, face contorted in agony as more and more of his life force is drained out of him by the engines.<p>

"Come on, River." he croaks. "You...you can do this."

Tearfully, she nods, biting her lip to prevent a frustrated scream escaping before shoving the throttle all the way down. Machinary all around her shrieks in complaint; for a moment she thinks the engines are going to fail completely then...Slowly but surely, they begin to pull away, the quasar's gravitational grip on them lessening as they power backwards, rattling and banging like an old clunker but moving. River grins, closing her eyes briefly in gratitude. It worked. It actually worked. And then Amy's shriek goes and spoils it all, the harbringer of bad news.

"Doctor? Doctor!"

The time lord lies still and unmoving on the floor, giving not so much as a flicker of a response in return.


	61. Right At My Throat

**Howdy all! Apologies for the lateness in getting this chapter up - almost forgot about it! /:**

**Greetings to new reviewer Resa Hemoor - lovely to hear from you!**

**Once again, a big thank you to all those brilliant people who take the time to review - please keep them coming!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"Oh god, River!" Amy shouts, skidding to her knees beside the fallen time lord. "What happened? Why's he like this?"<p>

Eyes wide, River quickly sets the ship's course on a direction away from the quasar and turns on the autopilot before joining her mother on the floor, shaking her head mutely.

"It was too much for him." she finally rasps. "It was too much for him and I still let him do it!"

Amy doesn't answer, instead patting the Doctor's cheek gently, fingers pressed against his neck as she searches for a pulse. She breathes a sigh of relief at the weak humming bird flutter beneath her touch.

"Thank the heavens. There's still an heartbeat." River notes the word used; heart_beat_. Singular, only one, once again reminding her of everything the time lord has been put through at Kovarian's hands. She finds herself wishing that she had made the woman's death a lot more painful and drawn out.

Suddenly, Amy is paling and her head is shaking in denial as she hovers over her raggedy man. Both her expression and tone are despairing when she turns to River.

"He's not breathing! Oh god, _he's not breathing!"_


	62. Looking For Heaven

**OK, folks, we're nearly at the part you've all been waiting for (or dreading)! I have to admit, I'm still feeling guilty about killing off Rory but he was an obstacle between the Doctor and Amy so he had to go ): And I didn't he'd simply step sideways and say to the Doctor, "She's all yours." I wanted him yo go out with a bang, to have the honourable exit he deserves and not have it spoiled by being brought back to life _again. _So, yeah. Sorry, Rory, but you had to leave ): **

**Please could you review? It really does mean a lot to me to know that you're enjoying this!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"Amy! Out of the way!" River suddenly rasps and for a moment the redhead thinks she's going to attempt mouth to mouth or some other such first aid resuscitation tactic that Rory would have known all about...Rory, oh god. Tears fill her eyes all over again as she thinks of her now dead husband, of the sacrifice he made and one which might now have been in vain for it seems she's about to lose the only other man she's ever loved; her raggedy doctor.<p>

"What are you doing?" Amy whispers as River grits her teeth together in effort as she begins to work cable after cable loose from the Doctor's chest, wincing at the wet slurp they make as they come loose, dripping with crimson.

"These are the only things preventing nature from taking its course." she spits out, tentatively wrapping one hand around the centre tube, gazing sadly at her mother. "It's the only way, I'm sorry. All we can do is pray that this works." And with that she takes a breath and pulls, gore spattered plastic and metal coming loose, spraying everything with a clear fluid, similar to what had been in the heart cylinder. River dives back immediately, overturning a nearby desk and throwing both herself and Amy behind it. "Whatever happens, whatever you hear, don't look." River warns. "I...I think this is going to be violent."

They wait with baited breath for several long drawn out seconds, hands tightly entwined as they sit in fevered hope. Then, slowly, gradually, a buzzing hum grows to a crescendo and golden light fills the room...


	63. Gonna Let It Happen To Me

**Can I just say, I want to apologise for not paying as much attention to this fic as I should. As you all know, at the moment, it's NaNoWriMo and so my novel is priority at the moment. Hopefully come December, I will be able to put a lot more time into this!**

**Thank you once again to all reviewers; hope you love this chapter and please keep the reviews coming! **

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Golden radiance. It twines around everything, illuminating each object in glimmering aurous shades, oddly beautiful but promising something deadly. And in the centre of this, the Doctor wakes suddenly, the flowing energy restarting tired lungs, filling a lonely heart with hope anew, He examines his hands in an almost childlike wonder as they begin to glow brightly, exuding twisting tendrils of light that reach up to gently caress his face and whisper to him softly. <em>Time to go, time to leave and make way for the future. You've had your shot; now it's someone else's turn to live. <em>It's like there are a million voices all speaking in his head at once, past and future regenerations perhaps. He tips his head back for a moment in resignation before clambering hesitantly to his feet, filled with previously unknown vitality, his entire being thrumming in time to that ancient music.

The Doctor feels some trepidation as the process begins, a sense of fear that spans from being happy where he is, comfortable with the form he is in. But if he stays like this then he knows he will die, something that he refuses to do, not after the sacrifice Rory made for him. And he can't force Amy to watch him wither away into shadows. This is the only way.

He gasps slightly as pain sweeps over him, only it's not the agonised pain of before but the pain of change and transistion, of cells changing their very shape. For a moment, his body attempts to resist it, a force of habit from being made to do so for so long. Then, he relaxes. He's going to let it happen. He's going to let it happen and darn the consequences.

And with that, he throws back his head and allows the regeneration to explode from him and take him onto pastures new.


	64. Shake Him Off

**Howdy all! So, this chapter is super short but I didn't want to risk spoiling the moment! Just to say, I might end up having to break my chapter a day promise as I have to figure out what the Doctor's going to be like personality and looks wise after this. That's right, folks, we're onto the TWELFTH Doctor in this story! Gonna miss you, Eleven, you and Rory, but as they say, the show must go on! **

**Please review! I love hearing your thoughts!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Everything is changing and swirling around him, cells reforming, hair regrowing, muscles regaining definition. In his chest, something thumps once, twice, three times before joining in the double symphony, sending blood flowing off through his veins once more. He laughs and tips his head back, feeling the regeneration energy wash over him, changing all that he is, replacing his very atoms. In his head, for a second, there are two different personalities pressed against each other, smiling and nodding, the handing over of the controls from one to the other. And with a grin, the Eleventh bows out and the Twelfth life begins.<p>

He opens his eyes.


	65. When We First Came Here

**Sorry for not updating for the last few days! I've been working out the twelfth Doctor in my head! Somehow, I get the feeling that you're not too pleased with me for regenerating the lovely Eleven! Anyways, this is a longer chapter than the last one and there will be more to follow!**

**Please review and tell me what you think of the twelfth Doctor! Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>The first thing the Doctor sees in his twelfth incarnation is...a dead body. No, scrap that, <em>two <em>dead bodies, which really doesn't bode well when he actually thinks about it but it is quickly dismissed. He's never held much faith in foreshadowing. However, his face falls when he recognises the first body he laid eyes on, a peaceful looking man with a long nose, a man who's name is on the tip of his tongue but he can't quite remember it...Robert? Ron? No, _Rory_. Rory Williams, the man who always dies, the man who sacrificed himself to save a selfish old time lord. He feels some sadness at this but also a great deal of respect. Rory possessed a lot more courage than he himself ever could.

The Doctor is a bit stiff as he clambers to his feet but it's not as bad as his ninth regeneration. Mind you, nothing could trump that regeneration for drama. Being barely able to stand unsupported, Jackie Tyler rabbiting in his ear, a Sycorax invasion. And to top it all off, a satsuma. The bloody fruit always managed to worm its way in at Christmas... The word was now stuck in his head, only it wasn't that word as such but something it suggested...Satsuma. Orange. _Orange_. Ginger!

Suddenly excited, he all but sprints towards the nearest make-shift mirror; the window.

"Ginger, ginger, ginger!" he begs hopefully. "Oh, please be ginger, just this once!"

He slumps, crestfallen, as he gazes upon his reflection. Not ginger; he was _never _ginger! Life was just so unfair at times... Puzzled, he twirls a lock of hair through his fingers, watching the colour dance in the glass. Blonde. He's blonde, a sort of pale honey caramel, a bit like Rose's but slightly darker. His hair curls almost playfully, framing an inquisitive face out of which gaze two fascinated grey eyes, sparkling with curiousity as they run up and down his body critically. He's sure he's shorter than before...Yep, definitely shorter. But it could be worse; he could have ended up with tentacles or green skin or two heads! Speaking of pairs...he can feel the reassuring double drum beat in his chest, thumping calmingly in a way he thought he thought he would never feel again. The Doctor takes a deep breath, feeling oxygen fill new lungs, rushing past unexplored teeth and over fresh flesh. Brand new.

"Doctor?"

The hesitant voice takes him by surprise and he spins quickly, nearly tripping over as he struggles to get to grips with his unfamiliar form. A pale skinned woman with beautiful auburn (_ginger! _He's so jealous...) hair stands before him, dressed in an almost painfully short skirt, another woman, this one with curly blonde hair and a gun, at her side. Both stare at him as if he's some sort of intruder, unsure how to react. The Doctor has the feeling that he knows their names but they keep escaping from him everytime he tries to grasp them. A few seconds of blankness pass during which the two women glance at each other nervously before it suddenly hits him like a cannonball. And he's running forward faster then he thinks is possible and engulfing the red head in a crushing hug, burying his head in her gorgeously soft hair.

"Oh, _Amy_._" _he sighs.


	66. No Colours In Our Skin

**Argghhh! Please don't kill me! OK, joking aside, I'm terribly sorry for the incredibly long wait for this chapter! My reason (excuse)? Novelling. Yes, I was typing my novel up... *slowly begins to edge away from mob with pitchforks before bursting into a sprint and running for the hills screaming "Argghh! I'm sorry!"* On the plus side, I've surpassed my target of 50,000 words but as the novel is still unfinished, I may be tied up for a little while longer. _However! _The Christmas holidays are coming up soon which will mean more frequent updates! Yay! Right, I'm time wasting here, amn't I? On with the important stuff!**

**Hello to ivebeenherebefore! Nice to here from another reader!**

**A BIG thank you to all my reviewers who make my day! Special thanks to TheFilmFreak1234 for reminding me to get the muse into gear and get writing! (I was planning to! Eventually... I think the muse was on a mush strike or something! It was demanding hurt/comfort and fluff!)**

**Hope to be back with another chapter soon!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>"Oh <em>Amy."<em>

One moment, Amy had been standing gazing at an unfamiliar man as he examined his reflection, the next her arms were full of timelord, soft curling hair tickling her cheeks. She laughs as the Doctor grip tightens around her, the alien trying unsuccessfully to lift and spin her around, finally settling for burying his face in her neck instead.

"I think you need to be a bit taller to do that!" she jokes, hastily smacking away tears and oh god, _why is she crying? _The Doctor's alive, he's standing before her, _hugging _her, he remembers her. But he's changed and suddenly, he no longer seems like her raggedy doctor; he's someone different yet at the same time unchanged. And that didn't make any sense but it doesn't matter because he's _hugging _her and how did he become so short? And...the really obvious difference.

"You're blonde." she giggles, running a hand tentatively through his locks and feeling the Doctor chuckled in her arms. "Figures. You always were one for having the ditzy blonde moments."

"Oi!" River exclaims from where she stands watching. "Stop being so stereotypical!" But her expression reveals that she really doesn't mind; she's just glad to have her family safe and sound, even if they are missing one member. The time lord sighs as he remembers this.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I _should _have but I didn't and no amount of apologies will ever undo that mistake." His previously sparkling grey eyes are downcast once more and Amy can't stand to see them like that; she's seen enough pain and suffering to last a lifetime. With this in mind, she takes her Doctor's face between her hands, making him look at her.

"It was his choice; it was what he wanted to do and you're gonna honour that decision whether you like it or not!"

There is no reply; the Doctor is too busy gazing at her with an odd look, as if he's only just truly seen her. Suddenly, something like a revelation dawns in his eyes and a small gasp escapes his lips, prompting looks of concern.

"Amy?" he begins hesitantly. "There's something I should have told you a long time ago..."


	67. Let The Spectrum In

**Howdy folks! Yep, we should be back to a nice regular chapter schedule once more! I've made it back to Earth and plan to stay here for a while yet though falling off it was pretty fun! (; **

**Hello to FallOutGrl02 and nat-nav; brilliant to hear from you both!**

**uzumaki misaki, the answer to your question is in this chapter! (sort of :D )**

**Review? Please? If I could find a way to send you cookies through the internet then I would! Would the idea of an Amy/11 fluff oneshot maybe make up your mind? ;D (I do sort of have one in mind - the muse is still feeling fluff deprived!)**

**Thank you all for your kind words and patience!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>Amy stares at the Doctor enraptured as the alien bows his head suddenly, a faint flush creeping across his cheeks. Once again, she is reminded of how short he seems to be, shorter even than her she realises and if anything, even younger looking than before, a fact that River had immediately picked up on when they first laid eyes on the Doctor's new form, muttering to Amy "It's so unfair. Everytime he regenerates, he looks even better than before. Do you see that happening with me? No. How is that justified?"<p>

But back to to the present where the Doctor stands shyly before her, clearly tongue tied as he looks anywhere but her eyes, taking slow calming breaths until he finally looks up once again.

"There's something I need to tell you." he repeats with more confidence this time, his irises a beautiful silvery grey as they gaze into Amy's own hazel praline ones. She stays silent, waiting with baited breath until he works up the courage to speak, already with a probably wishful idea of what he might be going to say.

It's amazing the difference four little words can make.

"Amy, I love you."


	68. Say My Name

**Woo! Back to my chapter a day routine! So...this is the chapter you've all been waiting for. Amy's reaction to the Doctor's revelation! Is it going to be a matter of returning the sentiments and living happily ever after? Of course not; I wouldn't make it _that _easy! :D After all this isn't the 11th Doctor anymore; this is the 12th and he's rather different! (and blonde!) More will be revealed...Soon! (and after I've thrown further problems at the pair of course!)**

**Wow! 146 reviews! You guys are _awesome! _Please keep your thoughts coming; I love reading what you all think!**

**XXX Raven (rambling on randomly as proven by _that _author's note above!)**

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><p>Nervously wringing his hands like a shy teenager on their first date, the Doctor risks a glance at Amy, a flush immediately creeping up his cheeks as the red-head continues to do nothing but gape at him, unable to say anything following this declaration. He begins to shuffle from foot to foot, seriously considering making a bolt for the TARDIS, which has to be around here <em>somewhere<em>, and that thought puzzles him for he's never been one to flee from his own companions...much. But of course, this is an entirely new personality as well as a new body. He can notice the differences already; deeper wariness, a desire to stay out of the way, stay _unnoticed._ And of course this painful shyness around Amy.

But he forces himself to stay where he is, gazing into Amy's eyes, awaiting her answer like it's the decision his life is balanced on. And then he feels it, an odd sensation of something rising up through him, sucking out his energy, a feeling that is all too familiar from his second last regeneration. He hiccups quietly, expression resigned as a cloud of gold rises upwards from his throat and in his chest, his hearts _throb_, the muscles stabbing into each other. A small gasp escapes his lips but he manages to hold himself together long enough for Amy to stutter out her rather stunned reply, still clearly shell-shocked.

"I...I love you too, Doctor."

The time lord grins once before his eyes roll back in his head and he collapses in an undiginified heap on the floor.


	69. Every Colour Illuminates

**Howdy guys! How's it hanging? Up where I am, we're getting blown away by gale force winds; it's howling through the doors and making a screaming noise much like the Darocha from Merlin! (it's actually quite disconcerting!) Just a quick note out there to anyone who's been reading All The Small Things, my collection of Doctor/River oneshots, that story is now on hiatus. I'm not really in an Doctor/River mood at the moment; truth be told, I'm more of a Doctor/Amy girl. (: **

**On another note, I'm quite looking forward to the Doctor Who Christmas episode! (I'm feeling quite Doctor Who deprived!)**

**Thank you all for the reviews; please keep them coming! Cookies for you all!**

**XXX Raven**

* * *

><p>Watching the gold mist dissapate into the ether, Amy sighs before dropping to her knees beside the prone time lord, patting his cheek gently in an attempt to rouse him.<p>

"Typical," she whispers. "Just typical. You tell me that then disappear into la-la land without so much as a warning! I know what you're like, or at least I _did_. You'll wake up and claim to remember none of it; you're not getting away that easily! Up! Now!"

She resumed her earlier attempts at waking him up, watched by River who shifted uncertainly from foot to foot, the other woman finally realising that she has lost the Doctor for good, if he was even hers in the first place which she somehow doubts. She can't prevent a small tear from trickling down her cheek as she watchs her mother before forcing her eyes away. Except, everywhere she looks, there is something else to upset her; her father's corpse, lying prone on the floor, expression oddly peaceful in death. The not so serene sight of Kovarian, what remains of her head a violent bloodied mess. Instead, she looks out the window at the now distant quasar, contemplating her future and granting the two..._lovers?..._thier privacy.

"Doctor! Up; _now!" _Amy instructs through gritted teeth as she tries to supress the worry at how still the time lord is. He can't be ill _again_, not after everything he's been through. Suddenly, there is an abrupt gasp and the Doctor is sitting up so fast that he hits Amy, sending the ginger tumbling to the ground with a shriek.

"Oh, sorry!" the Doctor gabbles, leaning forward to pull her back to her feet only to end up doubled over, one hand clutching at his chest as he grimaces, letting out a long huff of air. "OK, that shouldn't be like that." Puzzled, he curiously massages around the area in question before slumping backwards with a groan.

"One heart," he mutters. "Only one heart is working. I thought they were both there but there's only one; the other one won't work! Either that or it's not there and the double beat I heard was only in my imagination..." He thumps the floor in frustration before unsteadily clambering to his feet, immediately lunging for the wall. "Huh. Almost forgot what it felt like to be in a new body; I _liked _the old one! But you can't have everything, eh?" As he says this, he glances shyly at Amy before resuming what seems to be his favourite pastime; studying the floor. Whatever that moment had been between woman and alien, it has passed and Amy can't help but slouch in resignment.

"Can we go and find the TARDIS now? Only, I think I've been here long enough and I need to find out why I've only got one heart and get a change of clothes. These are a bit...unflattering." The Doctor examines the stained hospital gown he's dressed in with something close to contempt. "Amy, lead the way!"

He looks at her imploringly and she can't deny him, no matter how much she wants to find out just what he meant when he said he loved her. But there's one more thing that needs to be sorted before they go anywhere.

"What about Rory?" Amy asks softly, her eyes lingering on her dead husband sadly. "He deserves a proper dignified burial after all he's done, after how we've treated him."

The Doctor gazes at her oddly for a moment, looking very small and vulnerable as he stands in the doorway, nothing like the man he was before his regeneration, but then he nods and a degree of determination creeps into his posture.

"We'll send the station back into the quasar; a fitting send off." he says finally and both surviving Ponds voice their agreement. As they go to leave, Amy leans down to plant one last lingering kiss on her dead husband's lips, leaving his corpse with an almost wistful air before taking her place at the head of the group and leading them back through the winding corriders of Demon's Run, praying that she remembers the way. Several times, the Doctor stumbles as he attempts to aqquaint himself with his new form but it's River who helps him back to his feet, River who urges him onwards and River who finally takes one look at Amy and turns to the Doctor and gives him the earful he deserves.

"So that's it then? You tell her you love her, do a fainting damsel in distress routine and try to forget about it? Are you a man or a mouse! Get your act together now or you'll be facing my wrath! I'm not sitting back and letting you break my mother's heart; you heard what she said to you! Now go and tell her how you feel!" She gives the smaller alien a push, sending him stumbling forward and into Amy, causing the red-head to jump. For a moment he stares at her in tongue tied silence before stiffening his resolve and doing something that takes both women by surprise.

The Doctor stands up on his tiptoes, takes Amy's face in his hands and kisses her, thus confirming his earlier declaration.


	70. We Are Shining

**Yozzah! It's time for...Amy's reaction! Whoop! In other news (I digress pretty quick, don't I?), yesterday's freak winds have brought some rather amusing entertainment in the form of OMG; Trampoline! which I probably shouldn't enjoy as much as I do but oh well! Speaking of brilliant videos, has anyone else seen HMS Ocean's take on Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You? It's awesome! **

**On the lines of our 12th Doctor, I'm working on a drawing of him which I should eventually post on my deviantart account (link on my profile). I had a fair bit of fun designing his outfit! (;**

**Thank you for all the support and please keep on reviewing; it feeds the muse and makes it (and me!) very happy! Cheerio for now!**

**XXX Raven**

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><p>There is nothing lustful or needy about the kiss; it is warm and gentle and full of love, seeming to stretch on forever until the need for air forces the Doctor to pull away, a rather dazed smile in place.<p>

"Wow," he breathes and Amy echoes the sentiment. "_Wow_. Remind me why I didn't try that sooner?"

"Because you were too much of a masochist?" Amy suggests, her eyes still wide. She stares at the Doctor in shocked consideration before adding, "But I'm not complaining now. That was...that was..." She tails off, for once lost for words and the time lord can't resist a grin. He has succeeded in rendering Amy Pond speechless.

"Uh, do you mind if we try that again?" Amy finally asks hesitantly. "Purely for experimental purposes of course." Her gaze is focused on his lips or then again, it could just be on his face in general; he can't really tell. But either way, it is Amy who initiates the second kiss, relaxing into it as if she has been kissing aliens all her life.

"OK, that was just as amazing as the first. I know I should feel guilty; I mean, Rory's been dead hardly any time and I'm already kissing someone else. What's more, it's _you_ I'm kissing but..." She is cut off by the Doctor's finger against her mouth.

"Amy,"

"Yes?"

"You're babbling."

"Oh...Sorry." A faint blush creeps up her cheeks and now it her gazing at the floor. "Uh..."

"I know one thing for sure now." the Doctor tells her quietly, peering up with almost awe-struck eyes. "I am most definitely completely and irrevocably in love with you to the point that it might be considered pathetic but I can't bring myself to think of the implacations from that."

Amy smiles. "That's good then. Because I think I might feel the same way."


	71. Never Be Afraid Again

**OK. We've reached it. That ****pivotal moment in a story. The last chapter. *goes off to sob in a corner* As a condolence, it is almost three times the length of the other chapters but still... Wow. End of the story. There's actually a tale which goes with the writing of this entire story and that is that In The Shadow of Your Heart was originally only supposed to a oneshot. But I forgot to mark it as complete, a few people put it on story alert and this entire story came into existence. And I'm incredibly glad that I did forget to mark it as complete for if I hadn't then I wouldn't have gotten so much enjoyment out of writing this! So, here it is, the last chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. (:**

**Hello to SWBloodwolf; so nice to hear from you!**

**This chapter is dedicated to all readers and reviewers out there; thank you for reading and for your kind words of support!**

**XXX Raven**

* * *

><p>"Oh, hello gorgeous!" the Doctor declares, rushing up to the TARDIS and stroking the wood fondly, looking like he could quite happily embrace it if he could get his arms around the craft. "I've missed you! Why are you covered in scratches; they haven't been mistreating you, have they?" At this, he shoots River and Amy a glare that would have been funny had it not been coming from a pint sized curly haired blonde. Upon realising this, the time lord all but stamps his foot petulantly, grinding his teeth in anger before throwing open the door and stomping inside, which only serves to make the two women laugh all the harder.<p>

"This is going to take a bit of getting used to, I think." River says with a grin and Amy chuckled in agreement, still doubled over in mirth.

"Yeah. If I start laughing for no reason over the next few days, you'll know why!"

The two women follow the time lord into the TARDIS.

"So, what is he doing?" Amy asks sometime later, leaning against the console as it whirrs softly. River has set their course for Earth, after sending Demon's Run plummeting into Cygnus X-1, observing the spectacle of the station and its contents disintegrating beneath the quasar's powerful grip. Shortly after that, the Doctor had left them only with instructions to "get back to Earth as quickly as possible because he was bloody famished" before dancing into the depths of the TARDIS, "on the hunt for a nice warm bath and some decent clothes." River and Amy both had a bet running on what manner of odd clothing he was going to appear in.

"It'll be some sort of tunic or something, I bet you." Amy says, eyes sparkling. "Or something imposing; he seems to be having some height issues, don't you think?" She giggles before her mouth suddenly drops open and she stares over River's shoulder at something the other womam can't see. "What. Are. You. Wearing?" she demands and River spins, her own mouth meeting the floor.

"That's...er, an interesting outfit." she comments and the Doctor looks at them in confusion.

"What's wrong with it?" he asks, looking down at himself. "I think I look perfectly acceptable!" He does a quick spin, showing off his new wardrobe and while the outfit might require sunglasses to view, the Doctor looks much better than he has in a long time. His skin is clean of grime and blood, looking healthy and full of life rather than pallored, and his eyes are sparkling in a way they hadn't been before. Gone i the tattered hospital gown and in its place are... a brightly patterned floral shirt, grey slacks and...green doc martens? Slowly, Amy shakes her head.

"You know what, I'm not going to say anything. But seriously? Are you trying to look like some sort of 70s reject?"

"I'm not that bad!" the Doctor insists, clearly hurt, and she sighs, giving in.

"Oh, come 'ere." Motioning for him to join her, she puts an arm around his shoulder and pulls him close, hugging the time lord close. "Don't worry; when everyone else is laughing at you, I'll still love you!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," the Doctor grumbles but just then, there is a loud hum and the TARDIS judders to a halt, moniter flashing softly. "Yes! At last; I'm _starving!"_ The time lord dashes towards the doors, leaving Amy and River to stare at each other with raised eyebrows before sighing and just accepting it.

"Well, he's still a living form of perpetual motion then. I'm actually feeling quite apprehensive about what he's going to eat. Last time, he nearly emptied my kitchen before he found something he liked!" Amy shuddered at the memory of the Doctor tossing food about the kitchen and finally settled on fish fingers and custard, even if the memory was amongst her favourites.

"I get the feeling that this time, he knows what he's looking for."

"That's what I'm worried about."

~~~linebreak~~~

They find the Doctor raiding the shelves of the nearest supermarket, biting his lip as he debates over the fruit aisle.

"Strawberry or apricot?" he asks as Amy approaches, weighing up the pros and cons of either fruit. The red-head shrugs before finally suggesting strawberries which the time lord considers before shaking his head.

"Nah; pineapple beats them any day." With that, he picks up a pineapple, looks at it once before laying it back down and proceeding to the tins aisle, loading a basket with tinned pineapple instead. Amy just tails after him in bewilderment, saying nothing as the time lord whirlwinds his way through the rest of the shop, continously adding stuff to the basket and only stopping once or twice to ask Amy and River if there's anything they want. The ginger takes advantage of this to throw in a few bars of chocolate which are quickly obscured by lots and lots of tomato sauce. River raises a questioning eyebrow.

"Feeling like having a BBQ or something, are we?"

"No." The Doctor is already waiting impatiently for them at the check-outs where Amy quickly learns that she's expected to pay for all of this.

"This is real chivalrous of you." she whispers as she hands over her card, thanking whatever gods out there that she had it on her. Suddenly, it strikes her that the last time she was out shopping, it was with Rory... Rory who is now dead, Rory who's remains have been consumed by a quasar. She feels the tears welling up and the Doctor catches on immediately, hurrying the check-out clerk before Amy could break down. Once outside, he hands the bags to River and takes the red head into his arms, allowing her to cry onto his shoulder.

"It'll be OK." he whispers. "I know it seems like it won't but it will and I promise you I'll try my hardest to make it alright."

"You will?" Amy asks quietly, wiping her eyes.

"Course. I'm the Doctor, amn't I? I'll give you the stars if you like."

"As nice as that sounds, I think I like the thought of going back to the TARDIS and simply getting some R&R at the moment. "

"I like the sound of that."

The two smile at each other before the Doctor gently entwines his fingers with Amy's and walks with her towards the TARDIS, leaving River to shake her head in exasperation and lug all the shopping bags after the pair. But even she can't hide the smile of her own tugging at her lips.

~~~linebreak~~~

They find out soon after what the Doctor had in mind when he was shopping. He lounges in the library, tin of open pineapple at one side, ramakin of tomato ketchup on the other. Even as Amy watches from the comfort of the other couch, he delicately twirls a cocktail stick between his fingers before selecting a chunk of pineapple and dunking it into the ketchup, smacking his lips as he swallows. The ginger makes a face and quickly turns her attention back to her chocolate, though her appetite is rather curbed by the fact that a time lord is currently sat opposite her eating pineapple and tomato sauce, which is up there with fish fingers and custard as far as wacky foods are concerned. All in all, the Doctor makes a fairly odd sight .

"I was thinking, Amy." he begins, lazily considering another hunk of ketchup smeared fruit. "How about going to Albatruyon? I remember taking you there in the dream world, though that of course means nothing to you. Beautiful world, one of my favourites. Really nice people; they brought the myths of Atlantis and mermaids to Earth, you know! Would you like to go there?"

"Is there anything there that might enslave, attack or attempt to kill us?" Amy asks.

"Not that I know of, no."

"Then I'm fair game."

The time lord smiles. "To Albatruyon we go then!"

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><p><strong>FIN<strong>


	72. Author's Note :

**Heya guys, this is just a little author's note, not another chapter I'm afraid ): I just want to thank you all once more for sticking by me, even when I disappeared off the the radar for weeks and updated randomly! But I do have some good news for you and that is that I _do _have a sequel in mind for this! Woo! However, I won't post it until I've got at least one more of my WIPs complete (not including All The Small Things which is currently on hiatus) but there is a bright side in that I most likely will end up writing a few Amy/11 oneshots inbetween times! (:**

**Until then!**

**XXX Raven**


	73. Author's Note the 2nd

**Heya guys! Just a quick note to say that the sequel - Strangeness and Charm - is up _at last _if you're looking for it!**

**Hope you enjoy and that it can match the standards of its prequel (:**

**XXX TheCimmerianRaven **

**(previously OnTheWingsofRavens)**


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